


You're nothing, but not to me. Wait, what am I saying, you're everything to me!

by GoSora



Category: Reylo - Fandom, star wars AU - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gangs, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Star Wars AU, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 51,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoSora/pseuds/GoSora
Summary: The orphan Rey first meet Ben Solo when she was 6 and he was 9 years old. 10 years later, can she safe him from the drug gang he got him self involved with.[It is gonna get really corny]





	1. Do you remember me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jude from twitter](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Jude+from+twitter).



> Disclaimer:  
> First of all, English is my second language and I might have swapped some words around (Hopefully not to many). Second, I do not know anything about the American school system, but I made my story take place in the US because the Danish school system is just way to hard to explain, and because most people can relate to what happens in the US.   
> This story is also gonna be rated quit high, but there is not gonna be any sex or to much violence, but since I have a guy getting beaten up in the first part, and because of the backstory of my characters I rather rate it a bit high not to get any complains.   
> But this story is just supposed to be a heart-warming story.   
> If you have any suggestions to gramtic improvements then feel free to tell me in the comments, but please be kind. I have not been writing in English for years.

It was a cold day, late in November that Rey Smith arrived at the grand foster house of Rockford, Wisconsin, USA. This was a house for the oldest kids in the foster system, ages 15-25 and this is the last place, the final stop for the kids growing up in the foster system in her state.

Rey had been living with her last foster family for 6 years, but they had gotten to old and her foster father had an accident so now, at age 16 she was moved to this place.  
With her she had her sewing machine, clothes, school notes, a few books and her ewok teddy form the foster family she was with when she was 6 years old.  
Rey is an impressive independent lady: she is a straight A student, she can cook, sew, do self-defence and most important of all, she knows her own worth.

She is shown to her room, a shared room with 3 other girls. They all look at her as she finds her bed at the window. Her favourite place. The placing might be cold in the winter, but it has the most natural light.

She puts her things away before she follows the other girls down to the dining room. Here she sits with the girl who has the bed across form her, Rose Tico. A group of young men arrives and takes an entire table to them self, but when they walk past Rey, she recognize one. Ben Solo.  
She knew him 10 years ago, meet him at a the foster family where she had gotten the ewok teddy, from him. An old memory makes its way to the surface: watching star wars, fighting over which is cuter, ewok or wookie. Him bulling her, but not allowing anyone else to mess with her.  
He was the reason she took up self-defense but also the reason she became a star wars fan. The 6 months with him shaped her life in more ways than the young man who just passed her could ever know and imagine.

She quietly asked Rose about the group, pointing out Ben, without using his name.

“They are a part of the east drug cartel, and the guy you are talking about is the leader Snokes right hand man, Kylo. He is the one that will beat you up, if Snokes feels like it. So try and stay out of his way, if you want to live,” Rose says, to scared to even look in the direction of the guys, while Rey just keep looking at her old friend and ally.

 

He caught her staring, a girl, a new girl. She looked at him as he passed by her with the group of guys, the gang he worked for. She looked short, compared to him, but intelligent. And she did not look afraid, even after the girl in front of her had told her about him. She just continued to look in his direction, catching the attention of Snoke. Snoke got one of the druggies, the pet name for the abusers Snoke keep close and used as his personal slaves, to get all informations available on the new girl. Paying him with a bit of cocaine up front.

“The new girl is gonna be mine, mark my words Kylo,” Snoke was beyond confident when he talked, but Kylo was not sure if the new girl was interested in him, or any of them for that matter.

Kylo, the name he had taken after arriving in this place 3 years ago. When he was 16 he was taken in by the slightly older Snoke and the slightly younger Hux. They all shared a room and became his family. They gave him the name Kylo and gave him a purpose; to help Snoke control the drug addicts, and make them pay up.  
He had never had any experiences of what a normal family was, so he accepted this as the closes thing he could get. He was not that happy, but fairly contend in this situation. Having something to spend his time on and getting paid at the same time was all he needed at the moment. Or so he thought.

With that said, the rest of the day passed by as it usually did, with the only difference being the new girl looking at him every time they crossed paths.

 

As Rey looked from afar she noticed that Ben or Kylo did not recognize her, it had been 10 years, and she had changed quit a bit, but not that much. Her dark brown hair had gotten longer, but as far as she could tell her eyes was the same. She had gotten taller, and she was no longer wearing all pink, but lets face it, nearly every girl has a pink period and hers was when she was 6 years old.

Ben on the other hand had changed quit a bit. Physically he had become a mountain. Literally; he was tall, had giant shoulders and a chest to match. From what she could see he was pure muscle. But the one thing that remained was his face. Soft black hair framed his strong face, the forehead that had bumped into hers often as a kid, the slightly crooked yet perfect nose and the strong chin. The most noticeable difference was his beard, that covers his chin as well as his upper lip, making him look older than he was.

She had recognized him by his face and the lost look in his eyes. The same look he had 10 years ago. The look that told her that he was as lonely as always, but still acted like he was fine. This fact bothered her more than she thought it would and this is what she spend her night thinking about, while trying to get use to the new sounds in the room and the house she now lived in.

 

Kylo got up early, like he always did. Starting every morning with a run around the neighborhood. When leaving the house he passed through the living room area he saw the new girl again. She was sitting, fully dressed, wearing a muted set consisting of a pair of grey highwaisted pants and a lighter long sleeve top, with a stack of books in front of her, reading. Did she even start school yet? Confused he went on his way, running his route of 10 km like always. She was gone when he returned. She might be in school, she looks like a high school student anyway, he thought before going over to shower. Today he had no work, Snoke had given him the day off, which meant he could work on the shelf he was carving in wood and do some exorcise.

 

Rey noticed Ben when he left. She could never sleep in and had asked Rose, the night before, where she could read and study early in the morning and Rose had showed her the living room, where she was now sitting and reading. Today it was just an old classic, to help her clam down before she had to start at the new school. To be precise, she was re-reading her old trusted copy of Jane Austin Pride and Prejudiced. People never figured her for a romantic, and she wasn't, but she loved the way the book described the family. Reading and re-reading how the Bennets lived could always make her smile and laugh. It calmed her down and could make any day better. But one of the best parts of the book was what her last foster mother had written in the front page of the book:

'To the daughter I never had, Rey, the light of my life. Thank you for all you have given us over the past 6 years. To see you grow from a brainy kid into a capable young woman have been amazing. We will never forget you, love Christian and Caroline.'

Caroline had been the one to show her how to sew and cook and Christian had helped her fix her sewing machine, so now she could take it apart, find new parts for it and fix it in most cases. They had been her last foster family, but more importantly, they had been the family she had been with the longest. Spending 6 years with any foster family was a miracle and they had been loving, caring and always trying to help the kids that they had in their care.  
Unfortunately Christian had gotten him self into an accident, hurting his hip, and that meant he could not work anymore. This was the reason the final 3 kids they had, had to go back into the foster system and the reason she was where she was now. Rey was still texting with them and knew that they would try and get her to move back in when she turned 18, but for now, she could focus on her book and the whole Ben/Kylo situation. She felt like she needed to get to the bottom of that, and try to help him as much as she could. Knocking some sense into him if necessary.

Her first day of school was as bad as she had feared. Her classmates that ware older than her commented on her look and where she was from, but it was nothing new. Everywhere she had ever been people always talked behind her back, making fun of her lack of parents, noting on the fact that she was a foster child.  
Her teachers ware okay, they was a bit surprised by how smart she was, but agreed that she should be in the class she had requested.  
The classes ware a bit too easy for her, but that just gave her more time to read her book. She was nearly done when she was on her way home.

 

Kylos day had been quite relaxing until he got a text from Snoke. He then meet his leader in their room, where the druggie from the day before was ready to report.

“Her name is Rey Smith and she is an orphan with no family, raised in the system. For the past 6 years she was the same place. She is currently doing her final year of collage, at age 16 and she makes her own clothes. That is all the informations I could get,” the druggie said, as soon as Kylo had arrived.

A tiny bell rang in the back of his mind, but Snoke looked like he had a plan, so he pushed the memory away and listen to what Snoke wanted him to do. The plan was simple, getting the crew to push Rey into an ally where they would be waiting for her and then make her Snokes new girlfriend. The plan was simple and would probably work on most of the girls that lived in the house, but Kylo was just not sure if Rey would fall for the cheap trick. He had no idea where this sense of what she might do came from, but he did not have the time or energy to try and figure that out at the moment, so he just followed along as he usually did.  
As a last resort, Kylo would have to beat some sense into her. This had him worried a bit, since he never liked to use his fists against people. He usually only had to look at people to make them comply, but this girl was different, she might not bend under the pressure, and that meant he would have to beat her up, since not obeying orders was out of the question.

 

So as Rey was on the way home, she was interrupted and dragged to the ally where she was placed in front of Snoke, who had Hux and Kylo at his sides.

“Rey, from this day on, you are my girlfriend, which means you do as I say,” Snoke was upfront and tried to be intimidating, but trying and succeeding are two very different things.

“That is not gonna work for me Snoke, I have plans that does not involve being with gang banger. That and my policy not to letting anything and anyone get in the way of me getting a scholarship to university next fall,” said Ray, calm and collected. This was not the first time she had a guy confessing or demanding that she should be with him.

“Do you know who I am,” bewildered by the answer Snoke looked at the confident girl in front of him.

“You are the leader of this,” she points around, “part of the east drug cartels. But if you want to beat me into submission then lets just get that over with. I have a book I wanna finish,” Rey was still clam, standing strong, and with a hand gesture, a pissed Snoke made all but Kylo leave the ally.

 

“Never imagined that we would meet again until I saw you yesterday. But after that I thought I might have to knock some sense back into you. So do your worst and hit me with your best shot,” Rey had taken of her backpack and was getting ready to face her old enemy and friend.

Her words hit him harder than he had thought. Had they meet before? Was that the reason she never looked away even after she had heard that he was dangerous? And the way she had treated Snoke was mad. No one had ever behaved like that and not ended up in the hospital. That was the rule. The rule he had lived by for years. Slightly confused he got him self ready.

She waited for him to gather his thoughts and attack first. She had learned to always do so, to see what style of fighting the opponent used. So when he started his attack she stayed out of his reach for a few punches before she used his strength against him. Getting in close, going under most of his attacks, hitting him in his weak spots, which she remembered from when they ware kids. Right in the side of his ribs and his shins. Her advantage made the fight rather short and Kylo was laying on the ground grunting in pain, when she sad down next to him.

“10 years ago, I meet a boy. We fought every day, about everything, but mostly about star wars. This kid would bully me so much, you have no idea. And yet I knew he would be there when the foster mother had yelled at me, and left me crying my heart out. He taught me to be tough and smart. His name was Ben Solo, and he now goes by Kylo as you know. But all I see is the same guy, only the name is different,” while she said this she got a sheet of paper and a pen from her pocket and wrote something down. For the last part of her speech she looked him right in his eyes, before she put the paper in his hand and walked the rest of the way home.

Her head was a complete mess. She knew she had to at least try and help him back from what ever he had gotten him self into, but at what cost. What if she failed? What if she couldn't safe him? How much would she have to pay, emotionally and physically. This was probably the least thought through plan she had ever started. She usually knew what she was doing, but this all relied on Ben being able to remember her, and him being willing or at least open to change. She arrived home in this state of mind and just sat on her bed for a while, trying to imagine how everything could end, before she took out her old book and used it to clam down.


	2. I remember you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i forgot to tell you guys this in the first chapter, but I'll be posting a new chapter every Tuesday. Thank you all for the kudos, it means a lot!!!! I never expected to get this many people looking at this and even leaving kudos!!!! 
> 
> This one i dedicate to my aunt, who got the link today, since i was lazy.... ups ^^'
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter, and see you all next week!!!!!

Meanwhile in the ally. Kylo was lost for words. Memories rushing before his eyes. He had been 9 years old when he meet a young girl, wearing all pink, who had been quite loud. She was a pain at that age, but he remembered that they had formed a bond. He had started by bulling her like she had said, but then he had gotten to the point where he had protected her from the abuse of the foster father. He had taken beatings for her. And she had sneaked into his bed, after she had been yelled at. He never thought it was strange and had more or less acted like an over protective older brother to her for most of the 6 months they had stayed there together. 

How he had forgotten that girl was a mystery. She had been a literal ray of light in a very hard and dark point of his life. This explained how they knew each other and why she wasn't afraid of him. She saw him as the guy he had been at that time, but he had changed. He was no longer the Ben she knew, he was Kylo. A strong, though guy, working for dangerous people, knowing more that he should. He needed to tell her this before she got her hopes up, before she got her self hurt because of him. 

He finally looked at the paper in his hand and saw a long row of numbers. Her number. Did she really want him to contact her or was this just some joke. He got up, brushed of any dirt, before he found his phone and put her number in under 'Pink Ewok' because he remembered the main fight they had as kids: wookies vs ewoks, which is the cutest. In retrospect she had been right, ewoks are the cutest, but wookies are cool, and that was just plain fact. 

He went home and told Snoke how the fight ended, leaving out the part about them knowing each other and her number. As he expected he got punished. Beatings was not uncommon and he took it like the man he was. After the beating he texted Rey for the first time. 

 

Rey had been in the room for an hour before Rose suddenly came running in. 

“What have you done? Are you dating him? I told you he was dangerous!” Rose nearly yelled while jumping up next to Rey on her bed. 

“What are you talking about?” Rey looked confused at Rose and Rose tried to calmed down a bit before explaining. 

“There is a 'Red alert' on you. That means that you belong to Snoke. So are you dating him?” Rose looked equally scared and super exited. 

“Wait, what? Me dating Snoke? Never! He told me to date him, but I told him no,” Rey had put her book down, and stopped her explanation to let Rose yell a bit more. 

“You refused Snoke, but you look like you are fine? How is that even possible?” Rose is yelling again, looking choked, with wild eyes. 

“He did try to hurt me, he left me with Kylo. But I know things and I won our fight. So all I have to do now is wait and see if my old friend comes back...” Rey was clam as she spoke, but sounded a bit worried when the last sentence left her lips. 

“So you beat Kylo, that is... Wow... But who is your old friend?” Rose was calming down and she looked more closely at Rey, who seemed a bit out of it. 

“Someone I knew a long time ago. I'm not sure if he is still there, but I hope I can reach him and help him. But that is all I can tell you right now,” Rey tries to smile at Rose, but her smile never reaches her eyes, and Rose moved closer to her new friend and hugged her. 

“You can trust me, everything is gonna be fine,” while Rose is saying this she pats Reys head, and for the first time in this new place Rey knew she had one she could trust. 

“Thank you Rose, it means a lot to me,” Rey meant every word that left her mouth and hugged Rose back before a sound caught the attention of both of them. 

Rey pulled back from Rose immediately and pulled out her phone. 1 new text had been reserved. She looked at Rose quickly before she opened the message. 

'I remember you, but I'm not the same guy you remember anymore. If you are okay with that come to the 3rd utility room on the top floor and knock 3 times after dinner. I'll be waiting for you till 10 pm. Ben'

The text was short, but pure bullshit. She had seen the real him in his eyes both yesterday and today. She replied as soon as she had read it and pressed send before Rose had a change to see what was going on. 

'I'll be there, but I don't believe you. I have seen the Ben I knew in your eyes and I don't care if you don't believe me. See you later. Ewok.' 

Rose looked at the messages from where she was sitting, having no idea what was going on.   
“Ewok?” one word brought Rey back from internally yelling at Ben for not believing in him self. 

“We had a ton of fights over which was cuter, ewok vs wookie. I don't know if anyone is gonna read his messages, so to keep him safe I'll rather not sign my text. Plus he said that he remembered, so he must remember the ewok thing too,” Rey explained, trying to keep his name or anything that could give away who he was out of the conversation. 

“Are you gonna tell me who he is at some point?” Rose looked curious and Rey nodded. 

“When I'm more sure of what I'm dealing with, I'll tell you. But for now, I think it is best just to keep it as quirt as possible for both of our sake. If it blows up we won't be safe anywhere,” Reys face turned serious, when she thought of how bad everything could go. 

“And can you pretend that you did not read when and where we are gonna meet,” she almost forgot that detail. She needed to get better at keeping track on this whole Ben/Kylo issue, other vice it could get even more complicated.   
Reys head hurt a bit from everything that had happened that day. And she still had to meet him again later, so she needed to pack up a bag. Rose had left her friends bed and was watching her from her own bed. 

“What are you doing?” she asks, still interested in what ever the new girl was up to. 

“I know that Ben is hurt, so I'm gonna pack up some bandages and other stuff that might be useful. You never know,” Rey explains as she find everything she could think of. 

 

It is dinner time and Kylo sat with the gang as usually, even though he did not have an appetite. Beatings usually left him like that, so he just drank a bit of water while sneaking looks in Reys direction. 

 

She had placed herself so she had her back to him, to try and keep herself from staring to much at him, and that was the reason she did not notice how bad he looked after the beating. Rose who could see him even got a bit more quirt after one look at him.

In the end the food did not help eater one, it only served as a distraction before the meet up. 

 

Kylo went straight up to the meeting point after dinner, where he waited for Rey. He only had to wait for a few minutes before he hears 3 knocks on the door and he unlocks it and let Rey in. As soon as she turns around her face changes. It turns dark for some reason and he was not quit sure why. 

“What happened to you? I did not do this!” she was furious. He was hurt, dried blood stained his black long sleeved shirt, and he had a bruise that was starting to form on his jaw, and a cut lip. 

“I was punished for not being able to put you in the hospital. But this is what always happens if anyone in the gang can't finish their jobs,” he seemed clam and this made her even more angry and frustrated. 

“So you are telling me this isn't the first time you have been beaten by the people you call your friends? And yet you stay with them? WHY?!?” she was yelling at this point, looking at the man in front of her, who let this happen. This was insanity, nothing short of pure insanity. She definitely needed to safe him from himself, cause he might end up dead at the hands of his 'friends' at one point or another. 

“It is because they are the closest thing to a family I'll probably ever get. But like any other family, there are rules and you get punished if you don't follow them. It is logic,” Kylo tried to explain his actions but all it did was making Rey more angry and slightly depressed. Did he not think he was worthy of a family that at least respected him or even might love him? Did he think this was how his life was gonna stay? Did he really not want anything more out of life? Or did he just not believe that deserved more in life? She needed to focus and closed her eyes to gather everything she had, her last energy, before looking straight at him. Her eyes burning when she looked at him. 

 

“You are gonna sit on that chair” she points at a chair under a lamp, “and take off your shirt, so I can asses all the wounds. I'm only doing this to show you what real friends do. They don't hurt each other, they take care of each other. You got it?” Rey was so pissed and over it at this point that he could see he had no other option than to follow her orders, so that is what he did. He got on the chair and when it came to pull the shirt over his head Rey had to help him, since he could not get his right arm over his head.   
While he was sitting, she pulled a lot of stuff out of her bag. Bandages, scissors, a water bottle, cloth, a green tube and a few more things. It felt kinda awkward just sitting there, but he keep quirt and let her look at all the old and new wounds.   
His torso was covered in bruises, some with cuts. The ribs looked bend on his right side and she looked at his face to get his attention. 

“Tell me if it hurts. I need to know so I can tread you right,” her voice had turned gentle and he just nodded, before he felt her small warm hand on his right ribs, pushing in, right where it hurt the most. A small growl left his lips and the pressure disappeared immediately. She touched him a few more places before she pored water on the wash cloth and started to clean every single wound. She then applied the aloe vera gel before placing a small piece of sterile cloth over each of the bigger wounds. Bandaging him as the last step. During the whole process he stayed still and looked at her working, wondering where she had picked up this trait, and if he was the first guy she had bandaged up. As soon as the thought had entered his mind he stopped. Why should he care if she had done this to another guy? He was gonna leave her anyway, so there was no need to get worked up, what so ever.

“Done, but you have to stay on Snokes good side for a while, so you have time to heal. And then you have to meet up with me again tomorrow morning, so I can bandage your ribs more tightly,” Rey said as she finished wrapping his torso. 

 

He had looked exactly like she had expected, pure muscle. Rock hard chest and back. She had noticed faint scaring on his upper back, old scars, from 10 years ago, mixed with new once. He had been right, judging from his torso only, being in the gang was no joke. He had scares in all stages of healing. Some larger than others, but most of them was from the past few years according to her best guess.   
He had been right in front of her and she had noticed how attractive he might look to others. But here she was and all she could do was trying to fix him, and maybe sneaking a few looks, but that was purely for science reason. Not because she was attracted to him. That would be crazy, since her plan was to save him, not just date another gang banger. Because that was all he was at the moment, right. Her mind was out of control so she closed her eyes for a few seconds before rejoining Kylo, who was struggling with his shirt. She couldn't help but smile as she helped the shirt over his right arm, and then she let out a loud sigh. 

“Where did you learn this? Or when, since you are a straight A student?” Kylo had to ask and he looked generally curious. 

“My foster mom Caroline was a nurse and she just taught me the basic, since all of us kids always got small wounds playing and running around. I just never thought I had to bandage a fully grown man, but with you being in a gang this might not be the last time I'm gonna do this,” Rey sat down on the table in front of his chair, looking defeated, tired and yet, there was a spark in her eyes. 

“But what other skills do you have? I know that you sew your own clothes, and how great you are in school, but what ells?” his interest had been peaked and he might as well get some answers while they ware hanging out. 

“Self defence you know, I can alter clothes as well and I'm a pretty decent cook. And then I love to draw buildings, wood constructions, hanging from trees or supported by beams. My dream is becoming an architect, that is why I'm studying so hard,” her answer surprised him and he could easily imagine her doing everything she described, even imagine the house suspended in mid air, hanging from a tree. Her vision of her future was clear, realistic and clean. She was already on the road to her goal. 

“You probably don't want to hear this, but just give up on me and leave me alone. You have a future and I'm a bad influence, not worth your time,” he tried to lightly push her away, but she did not give up without a fight. 

“You say that, and yet all I can see in your eyes is the hurt and lost boy from 10 years ago. Let me help you, please. You ware the one that inspired me to try and be better, to study hard to learn as much as I could, so I had could have a change in life. Please don't push me away and let me help you,” Rey was serious, sincere and tried as hard as she could to reach Ben under the Kylo facade. 

“And even if you don't want my help, we can at least be friends, right? Or secret friends you talk Star wars with?” trying every last trick she had did the trick and he just nodded. She yawned and he got up. 

“Friends, but don't think I don't know what you are doing. I need you to promise me something; don't do anything stupid for me, okay! As long as you keep your self safe, we can meet, but the moment you put your self in danger because of me, I'm out,” he said as he helped her pack up her things and she nodded. Totally exhausted she was surprised when she felt his hand on her head, patting it. 

“Sleep well, and I'll text you later with a time to meet,” Kylo messed her hair up on purpose and a genuine smile was seen on his face as he let her out of the room. The smile made her heart skip a beat and reminded her of how he had looked a long time ago. She stood outside the room for a few minutes while gathering her thoughts. This was not good, she could not fall for him, she did not have the time or energy... she tried to snap out of it as she walked back to her room where Rose was waiting for her.


	3. A key to his place?

Rose looked like she was about to explode when Rey came in and sat down on her bed after throwing her back pack down. Rey looked over at her and Rose came to her side, sitting right in front of her, and Rey just leaned forward and rested her head on Rose shoulder.

“What is it you want to tell me?” Rey asks Rose as they sat like that. 

“I know who Ben is. I know that you don't want me to know, but I just had to know,” Rose answered and bite her lip, afraid of what Rey would say. 

“It is fine, this is gonna go horrible wrong at some point anyway. I have already gotten in to deep. But who do you think Ben is and how did you find out who he was?” Rey took everything very clam and collected as she had her forehead against Rose shoulder, to tired to move. 

“Well, I'm kinda great when it comes to technology and hacking, so I might have hacked our system and I might have cross referenced places you have lived with all the guys that live her, and found one person who had some potential. A Ben Solo, with a tragic backstory who lived with you for 6 months. It said in the papers that you shared quite a bond. Looking into his resent history he goes by a new name, Kylo. I also found out that his mother tried to get contact in with him every year since he was removed from his family and was denied that every single time,” Rose tried to explain everything in a proper way, but not reviling to much. Kylos file had been a mess, he had suffered more than she could have imaged. Abusive foster families, beatings and the whole uncle trying to kill Ben thing was beyond tragic. Reys file was a bit better but not much. Abuse, bulling and neglect was present through her first 10 years till the last foster family. She felt so bad for both of them, but hopeful that the connection between them might heal both of them.

“You are right, Kylo is Ben and he does not believe that he deserves a chance, does not think he is worthy of a normal life, friendship or love. It is breaking my heart seeing him like this, and that is the reason I'm trying to help him,” Rey said finally lifted her head from Rose shoulder and Rose smiled at her. 

“If anyone can help him it's you. You knew him as Ben, and I think that is essential in this case,” Rose agrees. 

A text arrived at this point and both girls read the message from Ben:   
'Ewok, I saw you this morning around 6 am, reading, so what about same time, but just where we meet today?'

Rey didn't need to think about this for more than a few seconds before she typed the reply.   
'Sure. That is a deal. Remember to be careful around you know who. Try not to move around to much.' 

'Get some sleep, okay.' Was the final text Rey received from Ben that evening. It made Rey smile and think about his smile.   
She turned to Rose and went over the details of the final moments she had spend with him and Rose eyes got big. 

“So do you like him?” Rose had to ask and she looked at her friends face to try and see if it revealed more than what she said.   
“I don't have the time for that, and even if I wanted to be with him, I can't. He has to at least be out of the gang and I have to pass my final exam before I can even afford to think about it,” Reys words was quite different from the story her face and especially her eyes told. She was on the road that lead to love and even though Rose had only known her for two days she could see this much.   
She hoped that Kylo could change, if not for himself then for her.   
Rose reached out to her again, hugging Rey before leaving her bed.   
“Go to sleep, I know it is early, but you are beyond tired, so you should get some rest,” Rose voice was gentle and Rey smiled at her, before she found the things she needed the next day. Rey got changed and found her old book again. She still had the final chapter and by the end of it she was so sleepy that it took her seconds from the time she put down her book till she was a sleep. 

 

Kylo was back at his room, and had just gotten his bloodstained shirt of and was trying to get the shirt he sleeps in on. Having trouble with his right arm again. A gentle knock on the door caught his attention and he opened up to find a women that worked at the group home standing in front of him. Amilyn Holdo, the one that had given him the key to the utility room when he had arrived. She always behaved like what he thought an aunt would, when they ware alone. And this time was no exception. He let her in and the purple haired woman shook her head in disbelieve at the sight of him. 

“I have tree questions Ben Solo. What did you do this time, who is the girl to you and who fixed you up?” She went straight to the point as usually before helping him with his shirt. 

“You really do see all, don't you? Well, I'm not Ben Solo and you know it. The girl is Rey, a new girl, and I had to beat her up, but surprise, she beat me. This is mostly the punishment I got. And Rey is the one that fixed me up,” Kylo knew that he had to tell the truth, because Amilyn could always tell when he lied and she always tried her best to help him anyway. 

“But what is she to you?” persistence was her middle name and he sighed. 

“Look in my papers, 10 years back, it will take to long to explain. She really wants me to change back to the kid I was, but is okay with being friends. Anything else?” Kylo sat down on his bed, tired after a long and strange day. 

“Are you going to meet up with her again?” she smiled a bit when asking this question.   
His eyes was out of focus as he nodded and she moved closer and sat down next to him, taking his hand and placing a key in it. 

“A spare key for the room, just in case you decide to let her in,” Amilyn said, before taking a good look at his face. 

“You need to be more careful in the future,” this was her final remark as she got up and turned to him. 

“Sleep well and take care okay,” was her final words and Kylo waved at her as she left the room.   
Amilyn had always treated him like this, always worried about him, and it could piss him off at times. But she seemed to be sincere, so he just let her be and accepted her worry as a part of life. 

The next morning he got up as he usually did. He still had problems with his right arm and decided not to change shirts before he had meet up with Rey. He packed up the things he needed for his shower after the run and went on his way up to the top floor.  
He got slightly surprised when he saw Rey standing in the opposite end of the hall. She stopped for just a second before a smile started to form on her face, and she started to walk towards him. His heart stopped for a second before he mentally slapped himself and walked over to her. They meet in front of the door and he unlocked it. 

“Good morning,” she said once inside and then she opened her bag, getting out the aloe again. 

“You seem more awake today,” he looked at her as he sat down on the same chair as the day before. 

“This shirt?” she looked a bit confused as she looked at him and he started to take it of before he answered. 

 

“This is the shirt I sleep in, not something I run around in,” was his explanation. She helped him with his right arm and finally got to look at him again. His wounds looked fine. They ware all starting to heal, doing exactly what they should. The bruising was getting a bit lighter in colour all around. The bruise on his face was not as bad as she had feared and the wound on his lip was getting better, but boy did he need a lip balm. His lips was full and slightly pink in colour, but dry as a desert. She took a quick look in her bag and after a few seconds found a new balm she had gotten as a backup, just in case.   
“Take this and use it. Men and there lack of self care...” she sighed as she gave him the balm and started to put aloe on all his wounds, before letting that dry a bit and placing band aids on the worst wounds and then starting to wrap his chest tighter that the day before. 

 

He was looking at the balm for a while before he just looked at her. This, everything that was going on right now was nice, but this was as fare as it could go. He had to keep her at a safe distance, for her sake. Yet having her here, within reach made him feel better that he had in years. Mental slap number two was as bad and ineffective as the first one, so he just went back to staring at her. 

 

She had noticed it, him looking at her and following her every move. It was a bit distracting, but not so much that it effected her work. She was as fast as the day before, bandaging him up tightly to secure his ribs. Doing this, being this close to Ben made her heart flutter. Today her mind was getting distracted at every curve on his body and she had a hard time keeping her mind on her work. She needed to help him, and get him out of the gang before anything ells, she keep telling her self this over and over again. But her heart had already started to move on its own and no matter how much she tried to stop it, it was no use. 

“I wouldn't recommend that you run today, since you have to do all this your self after you come back,” she said as she finished up. This should make him able to lift his arm more and not rely on others to get dressed. 

“So I have to have a day of rest is what you are saying?” his deep voice made her heart skip a beat, for the first time, and she looked at him for a second before she answered. 

“Yes, just one day of rest, so your ribs have a chance to heal a bit. I have tightened the bandage more today, so you can lift your arm over your head,” she looked at him as he got to terms with the thought of a lazy day, before he tried to lift his right arm over his head. It worked and Rey smiled as Ben raised his arm. She caught the smile that flashed over his face for the shortest moment and quickly turned around to pack up, before he could notice her face. She was blushing like the fool she was, but she couldn't do anything about it, he had smiled and it had reached his eyes. 

“So do we need to meet up tonight or do you think I'm gonna be okay on my own?” he seemed slightly concerned and after a minute she turned back to face him. 

“You could probably take care of it by your self tonight, but it is up to you. I'm willing to help you if you want help,” she looked at him as he pulled his clean shirt down. 

 

“It will be safer for you to stay away,” he had to try and push her away, try, even though he already knew she wouldn't go along with it.

“But I want to help you. It is my fault you got hurt, let me at least help you get better,” she said and he looked her in her eyes, filled to the brim with sincerity. His hand reached for his pocket and he found what he was looking for. 

“Okay, but if this is going to continue, then you better take this,” he takes his hand out of his pocket and reaches for her hands, placing a single key in her hand. She looks at his face as he continues, ”This key is for this room. You can use this space as much as you want, just remember the two rules: never let anyone ells in and keep the door locked at all times. If you have this key I won't be worrying as much about your safety,” she was looking at the key as he spoke and he saw her nod when he was done speaking. 

“So this means I can study and sew here?” her face lead up into a smile and he had to try and stop himself from laughing. 

“Sure, do what ever you want. But I'm usually spending most of my alone time here,” he informed her as she looked around to see what she could do and where she could place her things. 

“Then I'll be here after dinner tonight if you want help with the wounds. I need to make a plan over what I'll be reading in the next two weeks, before my test in school,” she had packed all her things and had put on her jacket and bag as he had gotten up. 

“Okay, I'll text you if I have any questions,” he said as he saw her place the key inside of her mobile cover. He lead her over to the door and opened it for her, before both of them looked at each other for a last time and she left him.


	4. The start of something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the star of something or???

This was getting out of control. Now she had the key to his sanctuary, the only place he could relax. But he already knew she would risk her own safety for his, so giving her the key had been the only logical solution. Her safety was now his top priority. He let out a loud sigh as he sat down in the couch that was placed in the middle of the room. He thought through all the possible outcome of the situation that he now found him self in. The chance of a bad ending was great and he couldn't think about them for more that a few seconds before he was about to explode with anger. But then the biggest 'what if' ever came into his mind. What if she was right? What if he could get out of the gang? And what if he could be with her?  
The thought got stuck in his head for the rest of the day, as he finished the wood shelf he had been working on. He had been decorating the sides with carved flowers and was polishing the last bit when Rey came back to the room. 

Rey had been in school and had finally gotten the list over the entire curriculum and during her lunch break she started to look through it to see what she would need to brush up on. She started to plan out the next week, what to read and when to read it. There was a lot, but most of it was something she knew a bit about already so she wasn't to worried. Trying to read every free minute she got that day, to keep her mind busy, so her mind wont go to Kylo. It worked for a while, but as she got a bit tired she started to think of him. Wondering what he was doing, how he was doing and if he was thinking about her. 

She texted a bit back and forth with Rose, to distract her self, about dinner and the fact that a new guy would arrive today. Rose was home before Rey and texted her immediately after the new boy arrived. She had been lucky enough to be the one to show him around and Rey could tell that Rose was crushing on him already.   
She described him to Rey as being a bit taller than her and Rey, black, broad shoulders, short black hair, big lips, a cute nose and dark eyes she totally could get lost in. His name was Finn and he had a British accent for some reason, which added to his charm according to Rose. 

This helped Rey getting her mind of Kylo, until Rose asked what she was going to do on that day and she found they key. Looking at the key made her blush and she quickly placed it back in the cover. She texted Rose to tell her that she would study by her self and Rose asked if it was in the utility room. Rey smiled as she replied yes. 

Rey walked home, not realizing she walked faster than she used to before she arrived at her room. She found the books she would need, and looked at her self a last time in the mirror before she walked up to the room with the key in her hand. She smiled at her self before she unlocked the door and went in, not looking to see if he was there before she had locked the door. 

 

Kylo had not expected her to come straight from school, but was happy that she did. She had her school bag with her, filled with a ton of books and when she turned around and saw him he noted that she seem to become less worried. The little frown between her eyebrows went away as she greeted him. He looked up from his work as she made her way over to the table he was sitting at. 

“What are you working on?” he could tell curiosity was getting to her and he took the shelf up and showed her what he had crafted. 

“I'm almost done with this for Holdo. She asked me for a few of them, and this is the last one,” he was proud of what he had made and she took a close look at his craftsmanship. 

“It is really pretty. The flowers looks so delicate,” he watched as she took in all the details and knew she would be able to feel how smooth the wood had become after he had worked on it for the past few days. 

 

She was impressed. She had never thought he would have chosen to work with wood, but as she looked closer she could see how skilled he was and this gave her hope that he had something he would want to do after leaving the gang. So seeing how lifelike all the details in the flowers looked like made her proud. Proud of him and of what he had achieved over the past few years.   
He might be in a gang, but as fare as she could tell, he was only there for the sake of having somewhere to belong. 

“So I know you are in a gang, but I have only ever seen how you dealt with me, or tired to deal with me. But how does it usually go?” she wanted to test her theory and see just how deep he was in. He looked surprised by the question but did not shut down. 

“You ware one of the exceptions to the rule, since you wanted the fight. Usually people try to avoid fighting against me. I hear that I look dangerous, but it is not like I wont hurt people, I just don't enjoy it as much as the other enforcers,” his explanation gave her more hope, and as she found her books and notes from her bag she tried to get to know him more. 

“So you have a job you don't really like... that does not seem fun, just saying” she pointed out and he nodded, sighing. 

“But the gang is the first people since you that have shown interest in me, so hanging out with them, staying with them just became a habit. It became the thing I'm good at,” he said as he started to polish the shelf some more, as he looked at her.   
She had found all her books and had taken one out, having a block of paper and a pen ready to go next to the book. 

 

“But you are so much more than that. What you just showed me was beautiful and as fare as I can tell you seem fairly compassionate. I know you think being in the gang is all you can do, but you can do so much more,” Reys word hit him hard. Could he be more than what he was? He had always been on the losing side of life. He had lost the only person he had cared for, his mom Leia when he was seven. Had lost Rey after the six months with her and had always been bullied where ever he went. Beaten till he had started to become the massive man he was now. Now people just feared him or wanted him, but nobody ever tried to get to know him, not since Rey. 

And here she was again, poking at him, wanting to get to know him, the real him. He had no choice but to talk to her, to show her what a mess he had become. But he would not do this all at once, because he'd rather have her around for longer. Spending time with her and getting to know her.   
He made a new plan, to get to know her as much as he could without bringing her in any for of danger. He had to know her, had to know the real her and everything about her, there was no other way for this to end. 

“You are giving me way to much credit, I'm just a scary guy from a gang, nothing more, nothing less,” he said as he had finally gotten his head back on straight. And she just shock her head slowly, disagreeing. 

“I heard Rose saying something about you having a hard time, but you still have a mother. I would give anyone nearly anything for just a chance at knowing who my mom was and why I was left,” Rey looked sad as she started to talk about her parents, but the words about his mother opened a very old scar in his heart. 

“What did Rose tell you about my mother?” he was desperate for news about his mother, whom he had not been in contact with for twelve years. He had loved her so much and the short time they spend together was the only memories worth anything from his childhood. He could still feel her hugs all these years later. 

“She said something about your mom trying to get in contact with you every year, but getting denied every time,” she said and he could feel a lump forming at his throat. He had never imagined that his mother would do that. She would not have had the time when he lived at home. She had always been at work and the little time she had at home was spend yelling at the other family members or hugging him. She would fall asleep with him in her arms and wake up to get him ready for school, right up to the day he was removed. 

 

Rey saw that the talk about his mother had started something. His face had soften and harden at the same time, and now he was in deep thought, so she took the time to text Rose for more info about his mother. Maybe she could find something more recent on her, an address, work place or anything. Rose replied that she would look into it immediately and asked if the date with Ben was going well. This made her blush as she looked over at Kylo who had tears in his eyes and she replied a short yes before walking over to his side of the table, standing behind him. She slowly raised her hands and placed them on his shoulders. She could feel how he to tens for a minute before she let her hands run over his shoulders and gather in front of his chest, as she closed the distance between them. Resting her chin on his shoulder she thought how bad of an idea this was, but in her heart she knew this was the right thing to do.   
She could feel his long hair on her cheek, it was as soft as she had imagined. But now she needed to comfort him, to show him that she cared about him. She got a bit surprised when she felt his hands touching her arms. This whole situation was so wrong and yet it felt so right. She stood there for a few minutes before he let go of her and she could return to her place in front of him. 

 

To say that he was surprised by her hug was the understatement of his entire life. Her hands on his shoulders that slowly embraced him had burned through his clothes and he could still feel the warmth. It was like his mothers hugs in a way, but so much stronger in another way. Both hugs had been comforting and had calmed him down, but Reys had made his heart skip a few beats and had left him wanting more. He wanted to hold her close, to feel her small frame in his arms. He wanted her close, and quit frankly, he wanted her. He wanted to be with her, to spend all his time with her. He had known her for two days and yet his head was spinning because of her, because of who she was, and because of the opportunity she offered.   
She saw him as a better man, she saw the light in him. She saw something in him that he never saw him self. Hope. 

After the hug all conversation ended, but the silence was not uncomfortable. Rey was reading and taking notes, having her highlighter in her hair and a pen behind her ear. She was effective and he could clearly read everything she wrote down, even if it was upside-down. He was almost done with the final polishing on the shelf and as she just continued to read and take notes, he fund another small piece of wood and started to carve. It was a thin piece of wood that was left after he had made something ells and now he was going to make it into a bookmark for Rey.   
It was just a random idea, but he could not be in the same room as her and not do anything. He had to distract himself, so he wouldn't just stair at her. He tried to see what kind of bookmark he could make and decided on a daisy motive before he started to draw the outline on the wood and then he started to work on the general shape. 

Both now worked in silence till it was time to go downstairs and eat dinner. He sad with the gang and listen to the report of the day, but did not really pay attention. His mind was occupied with what had happened earlier with Rey. He was still processing everything when they ware done and he finally could get up to her again. 

 

Rey, who was sitting with not only Rose but the new guy Finn as well had plenty to discuss. Rose had informations. She had found out plenty on the former Mrs. Solo. Her name was Leia and she went by the last name Organa now. She had left Bens father shortly after he had been taken away, and was now sharing address with Amilyn Holdo. Rose had the address and resent pictures of Leia that she gave to Rey. 

Rose had filled Finn in on as much as the fact that Ben was a former friend of Reys that she was helping, not revealing that he lived at the home.

Finn had been a nice guy and Rey could tell that he had already started to like Rose. He was as Rose had described, down to his accent. He was lively and Rey had enjoyed hearing the other two talk about everything and nothing. It had been a great distraction as she had been thinking about the hug ever since she left the room and Kylo. 

Rey looked over everything multiple times while they ate and was ready to give him most of the informations, but not the connection with Holdo before she had talked to her. She went back to the top floor in deep thought. 

They meet in front of the door and went in together. She was happy as soon as she saw him, and as the walked in she took the chair next to him. 

“Rose found something on your mother if you wanna hear,” she said and looked at the man sitting next to her. Her whole body turned to him as she spoke. And he turned to face her with his eyes starring straight into hers. Her heart skipped a beat and almost forgot how to breath before she started to talk. 

“When you ware taken away from your family, your mother left soon after and switched back to her maiden name, Leia Organa. She is currently working as district CEO of Barns and Nobles in the state of Wisconsin. She has moved to Rockford, where she lives and works from. I have her address that I can't share with you before I check something out, but I'm more than willing to send a letter to her from you, if that is something you want,” she said, eyes still locked with Kylo. His face changed with every word she spoke, from hard to soft and he nodded, unable to speak.   
She them took the paper with the pictures of Leia on out and placed them on the table in front of Kylo.

 

He was a mess, mentally. He would have to thank Rose at some point. The fact that his mother, his always hard-working mother who had been the only one with a consistent income in the family had become the district CEO was incredible. He was proud of her and proud to be her son, even if he was so different now. He was not sure why he could not get her address, but he accepted this. When he looked down and saw the pictures of his mother he almost broke down. She looked old. Her hair had turned completely steal grey and her face had more wrinkles than he remembered. Her hair was gathered in an elegant bun at the base of his neck. But what stood out the most to him was her smile. A smile that reached her eyes. She was happy.   
This fact nearly made him cry and he closed his eyes. Shortly after he could feel her hand on his back. He could feel her getting up and standing close to his side, her hand padding his shoulder as she tried to comfort him.   
He appreciated this, appreciated her and all that she had done for him. The tears never left his eyes, but this had been twice in one day. Unheard of in his case.   
Was this something she was doing or was she only bringing this side out in him? He had no idea what was happening, but he had already started to change. 

“I'm fine. I just didn't expect that she would be this happy. She was always struggling when I was a child. But I'm happy that she is in a great place, she deserves it more than anyone,” his voice was shaking slightly and Rey just stayed where she was, still comforting him as she spoke. 

“She deserves it, but so do you. We already know she wants to be in contact with you, so write to her, and I'll get the letter to her. I promise,” she said and looked at him as he looked at her. Her small smile and the gentle look in her eyes pulled him back and he sighed before grabbing a pen and a paper. He started to write and then stopped. Rey had taken the chair next to him again and he could feel her eyes was on him. 

“I don't know what to write, I mean, should I write that I miss her, should I write what have happened since I left. Should I mention the gang, Snoke, Hux, you?” he was frustrated as he looked over at her and she smiled as she took her note pad and a pen. 

“Well, how about starting of with something light, like: Hello mom, I got your address from a friend of a friend. Then write something about how you are doing now, what you are doing at the moment. Maybe keep the letter light as it is a first letter, but tell her how much you miss her. That is what I would do if I was you,” she said as she wrote down her ideas on the paper and placed it in front of him. For each suggestion she gave he nodded and then he started to write a light but heartfelt letter that he handled over to Rey without a word. She read it without a word and handled it back to him. Tears in her eyes. 

 

“It was beautiful, I know your mom is gonna love it,” she said with a tear running down her cheek. The letter had been heartfelt, heartbreaking and heart-warming. She could feel his love for his mother in every word he wrote. The memories of his childhood he described was beautiful and as the second tear left her eyes, she felt his big warm hands on her cheek, catching it. She looks up, right into his eyes as his hand gently caresses her cheek, wiping tears away as he did so. 

As he did this she started to blush, but she couldn't stop looking into the depths of his eyes. Falling deeper she reached up, placing her hand on top of his and leaned slightly into his hand. He let it happen, and did not flinch as she had expected him to do. They kept sitting like this, drowning in each others eyes for the time until her tears dried up. He released her from his eyes, which made them both snap out of it. Both turned to face the table again. But that did not mean that the moment had been any less magic. 

For the first time ever Rey had felt somewhat whole. The look in his eyes and his hand on her cheek had done that. It had lessened the loneliness that she had inside her heart the one pain she knew to well. It had made her feel light, hopeful and the last thing she could not say, because if the thought even made it's way to her mind, she knew it would make it real and that would mean that her world would change. She just couldn't, she did not have the time but was that just an excuse to keep her self safe? The hug earlier had been comforting for her as well, she had felt his warmth, smelled his musk and as she tried to deny it, it became clear. She needed this idiot, the one man she couldn't have at the moment. The one guy she had to keep secrets to protect for the time being. 

Rey slowly got up and got back to her original spot, finding a school book and started to read, while Kylo went over the letter one last time, before folding it and placing it in front of her. This action got her to look up and smile a gentle smile at him, before she returned to the books, and he carved more on her bookmark. 

Hours went by before they spoke again. 

“I'm gonna go, I need sleep, but before I leave, I wanna check your wounds if you are up for it,” Rey had packed her books into piles at this point and Kylo looked up from his work when he heard her voice. He did not answer, he just got up and walked over to the chair, as she followed. 

He took of his shirt and she started to unwrap him. The bruising was still there, but it was getting better. His ribs should be fine for his run in the morning as long as they ware tied up for the exorcise. Looking at him like this again was hard, she wanted to feel his warmth, wanted to hug him tight, but she had to focus and work.


	5. The touch of a hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple touch of a hand can change a nightmare into a dream.

“If you wanna run tomorrow, you can, but only if you let me join,” she said with a smile on her lips, as she took of the smaller band-aids and started to clean everything. He looked up at her, she was so close that he only had to reach out and then he could have her in his arms, but he staid as he was, looking at her as he thought about her proposal. 

“I run 10 kilometres, but why do I have to let you join?” the look in his eyes intensified and she avoided it on porous. He got tempted to just reach out for her and get the answer out the hard way, hugging it out of her. What was it he was thinking. He mentally slapped him self, and it worked as well as all the other slaps had. 

“First reason is that I'll need to bandage you up again like today, to make I easier for you to run. Second reason is that I need the exorcise, last time I worked out was when I beat you and I don't really think you can call that a workout. I love to run, and 10k is fine, gonna use my weights though,” her answer made sense up to the point of her having weights, that worried him for no particular reason so he unintentionally grabbed her wrist. 

“Weights?” the worry in his voice was easy to hear and he saw her stop as she was cleaning a wound right under his right ribs. She looked him in his eyes and then her face got soft. 

“It is wrist and ankle weights. They don't weigh to much and I'm used to run with them on, so everything is fine,” standing still, she answered with him still holding on to her wrist. He looked her into her eyes to confirm that what she said was true and then quickly let go of her wrist. His hand had acted seemingly on its own. He had to stop doing that, she was not a child and knew what she was doing, but he couldn't help but worry about her. She finished up, but did not bandage him up again. 

“Don't I need the bandages anymore?” he was confused as he looked after her as she left him sitting with only a few bandages on the biggest wounds. She looked back as she packed the books she would need in the morning in her bag and let the rest stay behind. 

“Well, your ribs could benefit from it, but your wounds need air to heal up, so I suggest that you sleep in a fresh t-shirt tonight and then when we meet up tomorrow morning I'm gonna bandage you up for the run,” she said and that explained quit a bit. All they needed was to figure out when the run should start. 

“I'm usually running from around 6-7, but how does that fit in with your school?” Kylo looked at her as she came back to where he was sitting. He could tell how deep in thought she was because she nearly crashed into him instead of walking past him. He couldn't help but smile at her as she apologized, before she could answer. 

“I think that is gonna be fine, I just need to be at school at 8 am and it only takes 15 minutes to walk that distance. I usually eat fruit for breakfast, so that does not take up time. But how about we meet here at 5:30 am, then we are sure to have enough time,” the plan she had made, made sense and he nodded before he got up and walked over to the table, taking the letter to his mother. 

“Please get this to her safely, and give Rose my thanks, I owe her one,” he handled the letter over to Rey, whom looked at him one last time before saying goodnight. She left and he walked back to the table and worked on the bookmark for an hour or two, before he got a clean shirt from a small stash of his personal items that he had in the room. He also took out the blankets, since he was going to stay there for the night. He did this some days if he wanted to work into the night or when he just needed some alone time. It was past midnight before he finally got some rest.

 

Rey walked downstairs with a few things on her mind. She had the letter for Leia in her hand and walked straight to the office where she took out her notepad and wrote the following message to Holdo. 

'I know about Bens mother and her address. I have a letter for her, please contact me. Rey Smith'. She then got on of the staff members to place the message, now folded where Holdo would find it the next day. 

After that she went to her room where she found Rose on her bed and the two other room mates ware sitting together on their bed. Rose was reading and the other girls was gossiping about boys, in particular how hot Kylo and Snoke was.   
The fact that they spoke about Ben as a piece of meat made Rey unbelievably upset. They ware talking about how hot he was and what they wanted him to do to them, not even considering he was a person, with feelings and opinions. This nearly made her get physical with them so before she could get more pissed she went over to Rose bed and sat down next to her, reading over her shoulder. 

 

“He told me to thank you and that he owes you one,” Rey said and looked at Rose, who looked up, surprised to hear that Kylo owed her one. She would need to use that favour wisely. She looked at Rey and saw the fire in her eyes. 

“What is going on?” she asks and Rey just looks in the direction of the two bimboes sitting a bed over. 

“I just can't... How can you talk about someone like that. He isn't the type, not even close. I just wanna hit someone!” Rey said this with anger and pain present in every single word that left her lips and Rose put down her book before hugging her. 

“Tell me about what he is really like,” she encourages Rey and Rey looks at her and a gentle expression starts to form on her face. Rey might not be ready for it yet, but she was in love and that warmed Rose heart. 

 

“He is mature and insecure... He is strong and yet he doubt him self... He is violent and gentle at the same time... and he has such a warm heart. He wrote a letter to his mother today and I got to read it and let me tell you, it nearly broke my heart! I cried and he comforted me... I just wished he could see who he can become... I wished he would know his own strengths and see what I see,” trying to describe Kylo was hard, since he was not only Kylo, but also Ben Solo. She had seen more of that side today, than any other day, had felt the warmth of the guy she knew when he was comforting her and when he had grabbed her wrist. Rose smiled at her and this made Rey tell her everything that had happened. Rose got surprised at how soft he was and this made Rey smile even more.   
Truth be told, he looked like a bad boy, but he was the complete opposite. Sure he was no angle but he was just what she missed, she thought and then she stopped her brain from going any further, he was still in the gang and she could not afford this. 

Tired after the long day and the whisper conversation Rey found the few things she would need the next morning and packed it before going to bed. 

The next morning she woke early, and was out of her door at 5:15 am. She got to the room and locked her self in, not thinking he would be there. She turned on the light and had to stop her self from yelling when she saw someone laying on the couch. Black hair visible on the wide and long couch. She sneaks closer and when she sees the nose she knows it is him, so she relaxes and sits down on the coffee table in front of him. 

He looked so sweet when he slept and it warmed her heart, but some hair was disturbing her view of his face so she reached out her hand and gently pushed the hair to the side. His hand came racing out of nowhere and grabbed her wrist like last night, but it was clear that he was still sleeping. She is surprised, to say the least, but then she carefully loosens his grip on her hand, without waking him before gently taking his hand in hers. Looking at his face become more peaceful made her smile and she took his hand in both of hers, taking this opportunity to look at his hand. It was not only big, but a bit rough and she could feel the calluses he had gotten from his work with wood. One thing she noticed more than that was how warm his hand was. The warmth spread to her hand and with that and his gentle expression she nearly melted where she sat. 

 

Kylo was dreaming, or more precise having a nightmare, when he felt something brushing against his forehead and he grabbed it. As the skinny wrist became a hand and he felt her energy the nightmare turned into something beautiful. He looked down, still dreaming and noticed Reys hand in his and then her pointing into the distance, where his mother came walking. As she got closer Rey lead him towards his mother, never letting go of his hand, even as he hugged his mom.   
He knew he was dreaming, but he desperately wanted it to be true, wanted it so much, that even as the alarm tried to wake him he didn't let go of her hand and just kept holding on to it, squeezing it as he woke. His eyes flung open as he felt her squeeze back and he looked up into her eyes. She was here, her hand was real and so was she. Sitting close to him, her eyes on him. His heart skipped a beat as they locked eyes. He wanted nothing more than to pull her over to him, but he resisted the temptation and just sat up, not letting go of her hand. 

“I had no idea that you slept here. Don't you have a room?” her question did not surprise him and he smiled in her direction, still a bit groggy from just waking up. 

“I share room with Snoke and Hux, but some days I just stay here. Sometimes it is because I work late, other times I just need the privacy,” he explained and could see her smiling at him. 

“Are you ready for the run?” he looked at her and could see that she was wearing plain grey sports gear and a pair of old running shoes. When she stood up he did to, still holding on to her small hand. He took the lead over to the usual spot and finally let go of her hand, and took of his shirt. 

 

She knew she shouldn't be upset when he let go of her hand, but she was. Even though he was now sitting there, shirtless, she still kinda just wanted to hold his hand. Even just a second longer would make her day. She thought this as she started to clean and check wounds and changing the few bandages that was left. Then she wrapped his chest tight to support the ribs and smiled at him. She had to focus as always, to keep up her speed and not get distracted by his abs, arms, back or just him as a person. This was getting harder to do the more she got to know him, but her small side job as a nurse would soon end, so she should be fine. He left his spot and got his old t-shirt back on, and found a black hooted sweatshirt that he pulled over his head, before getting his shoes on. 

“If we leave together we might get in trouble, but the people that lives on the route I run are loyal to me, since I keep them safe, so they wont tell a soul. So if we leave separately we need a place to meet up close by,” he looked at her as he spoke and she had to think for a few seconds before she had the answer. She picked up her weights from her bag and strapped them on as she spoke. 

“We could meet up in the ally where I took you down,” she smiled at him as she said this and that nearly made him laugh. He nodded before he walked over to the door. 

“See you in a few,” he said as he left the room, letting the door stand wide open. She locked it as she left and then she power walked over to the ally, to warm up. 

 

He arrived first and was stretching out when she came. Still concerned about the weights he looked at her, before closing the distance between them. 

“Are you sure you are okay, running with weights is not easy,” he said and remembered a injury he had had a few years back when he had tried the same kind of weights that Rey was wearing. 

“I'm fine, don't worry!” she sounded sure, but he was still doubting the whole thing and took her wrists in his hands. 

“I'm gonna check if you have done this correctly, just to be safe. And if you feel like the weights are to much, then give them to me, deal?” he was already inspecting her wrists and did not notice how much she blushed. She did not answer and did not move away from him, and he took this as signs for him to continue. Her wrists was looking fine, so he kneeled down and took a look at her ankles, and made sure that the weights was secured properly. They ware and he now had to let her run like this, even if he was worried she would get her self hurt. As he gets up he sees the remaining redness in her flushed cheeks and has no idea how to react to that, so he steppes back and just looks at her and admires her.   
She looks so beautiful, flushed cheeks and all, and he allows himself this thought, just this one time. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, still taking in her beauty, as she stands in her running outfit. 

“I'm ready, lead the way,” she answers as she pulls her hair away from her face and into a half up bun. 

He then leads the way out of the ally in a slow tempo and around the neighbourhood. She catches up with ease and presses the tempo up. They run without saying a word, and only the heavy breaths can be heard this early in the morning as they make their way through the streets that he knows so well.   
He is impressed by how fast she want to run and who steady she is while running, so he pushes her a bit and runs a bit faster. She matches his tempo with ease and when they are close to the ally she is the first one to start the sprint. He rushes after her, but she is to fast, and even if he is stronger, he cant catch up to her. She wins the race and turns to him as she reaches the starting point. 

He had thought she was beautiful when they had taken of, but truth be told, he had never seen anyone this beautiful in his entire life.   
Her eyes looked so clean and clear, the colour was brighter than he had ever seen it. The natural blush on her cheeks combined with the smile that covered her whole face was making his heart skip multiple beats and her hair was framing her face in the best way possible. Perfection was a strong word, but that was what she was in this moment and he had to restrain himself not to just run over and lift her up and... he stopped his thought right there, he could never let himself do anything to her. She was to pure and he was to messed up. She needed to stay pure and clean, and he had no right to just walk over and declare his heart to her. She had plans to go to university, long term plans that involved staying on the right side of the law, and he was a bad boy, a bad guy and a bad man. He was trouble and he would just mess up what she was working so hard to achieve. 

So he just simply ran to her side and tried to catch his breath.


	6. The letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A run to remember, work and school.

She hadn't expected to win the sprint, but as she did she couldn't help but turn to look at him as he came running behind her. As she spun around, a huge grin on her face she noticed how he looked. Sweat from his forehead made his hair stick to his face and the exorcise made his eyes deeper and darker. She was nearly sucked in as she looked at him. He was as massive as he always was, but in motion he had a graze about him, and that combined with his face, and his eyes in particular made her think how nice it would be if he just continued to run, and just picked her up. She wanted him to do it, to run to her and just grab her and wrap her in his strong arms. She would have blushed if her face hadn't already been red from the run. As he ran to her side she tried to get back to her senses and to reality. This run was definitely gonna distract her the rest of the day and she would probably have to text Rose all the details before the first break was over. 

“You are fast, I did not expect that sprint!” he said, sounding impressed and she smiled as she kneels down and takes of her ankle weights, while catching her breath. 

“That is the thing, I'm not fast. My old foster mom could run circles around me,” she admitted, thinking back a month to a run she had with Caroline. The older woman had always been super fast and this time was no different as she had been arriving home a full five minutes ahead of Rey. Holding a huge glass of water to her when she arrived in the kitchen. She quickly told this to Kylo and he smiled, melting her heart as she stands up, weights in her hands. 

He reaches out and grapes the weights from her, placing them in his pockets before he takes of her wrist weights for her. 

“You know, I can do that, right?” her head was tilted slightly to one side as she said that and he just ignored that before he started to walk slowly back to the group home. 

“Hey! I'm talking to you!” amused but not satisfied with his reaction she ran after him, deliberately bumping into him, which was a bad idea, since it felt like running into a wall. He spun around and caught her with one arm before she hit the ground. 

“If you don't want to be treated like a child then stop acting like one,” he said, and let go of her as soon as she was back on her feet. The sensation of his arm around her waist was still there, her entire body still felt the heat and her heart was beating faster than right after the sprint. She needed to come up with a comeback, and fast! 

“You started, I can carry my weights my self for the trip home, and yet you just took them...” this had confused her a bit, why would he do that? Did he... No way he carried for her, if he did then... she might not be able to fight her own feelings of for much longer. She looked at him, unsure what to do with her self, feeling exposed, naked, lonely and not really ready for his responds. 

 

Her statement was throwing him of, why had he done it? It was not like he didn't know the answer already, he was just not sure whether telling her was a smart idea or not. But he knew she would probably find out sooner or later anyway, so he walked over, standing right in front of her, towering over her and looked her into her beautiful eyes. 

“I care about you and your safety. You are the only light I have in my life so yes, I might be overprotective when it comes to you. That is it, so you run home now, shower and go to school, and I'll text you later,” nearly getting distracted by her eyes and the fact that she was close he managed to say everything he needed to and end it with a soft smile. Success! She nodded, in deep thought and slowly began to run home, her mind of somewhere ells but he was satisfied. She was safe for now and that was really all that mattered today. 

He knew he had work to do today, Snoke had texted him late last night. Some idiot was late one payments and while Rey was in school he would have to take care of that and walk one of his rounds of intimidation, to make sure they remembered him. But first he had to go to the small gym and get some more exorcise down. Some boxing and taekwondo to make sure he was ready for it and stayed sharp as ever.  
Without returning home he went straight to the gym and meet up with some of the other gang members who was doing morning workouts as well. After two hours he was finally done and he went home, unwrapped himself and after a shower he was ready for work. Snoke went with him on the run around their part of the territory and they got the money owed without incident. No one dared getting on Snokes bad side and he was a big par of the reason why. Fear in the eyes of every drug addict they meet told him that. 

But he did not enjoy this. The exorcise was fine and he loved how that felt even with bruised ribs, but this. He just wanted to be at home, or even better, sitting in the same room as Rey. 

He had always felt lonely, even as a kid. But it was better when his mom was home, she was the one person that could make the loneliness disappear. Ever since he had been in the foster system his loneliness had become worse. Rey had helped him when they first meet and again now. He felt happier, less alone and more in balance with her at his side. He was more him self and felt less this shield or shell Snoke had created, felt less like Kylo. He wished he could be Ben again, wished he could just drop the gang and turn everything around, but he was in to deep. He new things that would make it nearly impossible for him to leave this life of crime and intimidation. He couldn't go to the police, because then he would become a target and that would bring Rey in even more danger than she was in already. So he just had to continue what he was doing. Seeing her in secret was the best solution for now. 

As he walked around with Snoke, the older guy talked about Rey a lot. About how hot she was and... He could not even think about the things Snoke wanted to do to her. He knew Snoke was fucked up, but this was taking the cake and he almost hit him. Restraining him self was something he had been doing a lot lately and that thought nearly made him smile, before he remembered he was at work and that smiling was no part of that. So he put on his work face and just starred at people with cold eyes the rest of the day. 

 

Rey arrived home in good time and even got to see Rose and talk with her before school. She was still shocked by Kylos confession. He cared about her and she was the only light in his life? This brought her both happiness and some sadness. She was happy that he cared about her and she truly cared about him as well, and the fact that he saw her as a light part of his life was what all she could ask for. But she was sadden by the fact that he seemed to care more about her safety than about his own salvation. 

As the day went on she doodled more on a sketch that she had been working on since she was six years old. It was not the exact sketch, but an evolved version of the same idea, her Ewok inspired house, her dream house. She had made her first drawing of it in crayon while sitting next to Ben on a Saturday, and she still had that drawing, hidden away with all new versions of it. This was what she wanted, this was what she had wanted for so many years, but now, in the course of a single week her dream had changed. 

She had always figured she would meet some unknown future man and be ready to start a life with that person. Always thought she would know who it would be as soon as she meet him, just like in the movies and books marked to her demographic. She had always imagined this unknown man in the house she was drawing but now he was no longer a faceless man. He had black chin length hair, deep eyes, an amazing jaw line, a deep and soothing voice and was tall, with brought shoulders and a strong back. He was basically Ben Solo and that scared her a little, while making her heart flutter.  
She thought all this as she worked on the floor plan for the main house. She had planed for a living room and open kitchen as a first floor, right next to the master bedroom and master bathroom. A fireplace build in the wall separating the master bedroom and living room, with glass and metal shutters on both sides, for privacy. Almost everything made out of wood, making the whole space feel warm and comfortable. A second floor with two or three rooms for office space or kids rooms. Kids... her thoughts trailed of, to a distant future where she might be with Ben and have kids. There was no way they would make the mistakes of their parents. No way that she would leave her child like she was left and no way Ben would ever allow anything to happen to his kids, right? Right! He was already overprotective over her, so he would probably be even worse with his kids, loving them more than his own life. This thought warmed her heart as she started to sketch the top floor and naming one of the rooms 'Child bedroom'.  
She knew this might never happen, but that didn't mean she couldn't dream. So she did and by the end of the school day she had the first floor plan of the second floor made. 

Happy as she walked home, she meet up with Rose in their room and showed her the drawing she had made. Rose was impressed and loved the fireplace detail, as well as the whole concept of the house. After that she went downstairs to find Amilyn Holdo. 

Finding her was easy, since she was in the office. Rey knocked on the door and asked for her, making Amilyn come to the door in seconds. 

 

“I got your message, please follow me and then we can talk,” if Amilyn seemed tens, it was because she was. Rey knew something, and she had no idea how much. She had been looking at the message the young woman had left for her the whole day, and was waiting for her to come. She pulled her with her to a empty room where they could talk in private, making sure to lock the door before she turned to Rey. 

“So you know, but how much do you know?” her emotions could be heard in her voice, that was how nervous she was in this moment. Rey tried to smile at her and that just made it worse. If the state ever found out she was done for! Fired! Gone!

“I know that Leia Organa divorced Han Solo right after her son was taken away from her family and that no information was found that connects them ever since. I know that she has tried for twelve years to get in contact with Ben and that somewhere in those years you meet her. I guess you fell in love, since I saw a picture of the two of you together and you share address. That is why I contacted you, so you might take the letter and give it to Leia. Kylo really poured his heart and soul into it... He loves her and needs her in his life,” Reys words hit Amilyn hard. This girl knew the truth, but she didn't seem to want to use it for anything ells but to help Ben and that made her happy. But how much did Ben know. 

“How much does Ben know?” she was more calm as she asked this and this time Reys smile got gentle.

“He knows that she is happy, where she works and that I have her address and can't give it to him. I didn't explain why and he is just trusting me on that one. He has a few new pictures of her and is super proud of her and happy for her,” as the young woman spoke Amilyn noticed the softness and loving way she described him, and was surprised to discover that Rey had feelings for Ben. But if she could make him happy and get him out of all the trouble he was in, then she was all for it.  
Happy with the answer she finally relaxed and smiled at Rey. 

“You can't tell him about me and Leia, I know it is selfish, but I might loose my job, and that would mean Leia and Ben might loose contact. I'll deliver the letter and bring you the answer from her. You have no idea how much joy are gonna bring to our house,” her smile was gentle and happy as she looked at Rey who nodded and pulled out the letter from her bag. 

“I read it, and it is beautiful. It brought me to tears and he comforted me, believe it or not. Ben is still in there somewhere, I just need more time...” Rey trailed of, and Amilyn could feel that she wanted to say more, but was to scared to admit her feeling to her self just yet. As she took the letter, she looked to the girl in front of her. She was small in size, but a pretty girl, with bright eyes, and a bright smile that was lighting up the whole room, like a ray of sunshine. 

“What are your plans for your future Rey?” curious about this girl, she had to ask and the young girl found a file in her bag, handling it over to Amilyn and she looked at it. Floor plans... 

“I wanna become an architect, and make wood houses. This one is supposed to be suspended between some trees, and is something I have been working on for about ten years... since I meet Ben...” Reys voice was gentle and soft as she spoke of her dream and as she looked at the details Amilyn was impressed. This was not just some random drawing, she had thought of everything. Piping, water, the kitchen and electronics. Even how thick the walls would have to be and some calculations on how heavy the place would become was included. When she looked at the plans for the second floor her eyes got big and Rey came to her side, blushing as she saw what had made the older woman react. 

“So you plan on having kids?” she teased the younger woman and she just smiled as she sat down again. 

“I'm okay not having any, but I just really want some. To be able to love them and give them everything I didn't get as a child. Support and love,” the sincerity in Reys voice was heart warming and made Amilyn even more happy that this was the girl that would help bring Ben back. 

“So what are your plans for today?” Amilyn asked and Rey took out a book. 

“Studding as always with Kylo making something in wood or doing something ells, I think,” she said and got up. Amilyn handled her the file and the young woman smiled at her. 

“I hope you can get through to him. He needs some light in his life,” Amilyns look said everything, she believed in this girl and she nodded. 

“I'll try my best, he is a great man, he just need to see it and believe it him self,” this was the last thing Rey said as she walked out of the door, waving at Amilyn. 

Remarkable young girl. So full of light and life. Now she did not only have a letter for Leia, but also this she could tell her about. Leia was definitely going to want to meet Rey if she was gonna do what Amilyn believed she was capable of: saving Ben from him self.


	7. The letter part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confession? and Leia gets the letter

As Rey walked upstairs she thought about everything that had happened that day, the run, her drawing and change in dream and her conversation with Amilyn. She knew that Leia and Amilyn was a couple, but she had not interest in having to keep more secrets from Kylo than necessary. In-fact she wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, but as she had pointed out, Holdo might loose her job if it ever got out, and they both needed each other. If not to deliver the letters then for moral support in this fight for Ben. She had a new team member, a new person to trust and she was happy about that. 

With that thought she walked into the room and saw Kylo sitting on the couch, looking miserable. This got her worried and she locked the door, before dropping her bag to the floor and walking straight over to him. Sitting in front of him, she took his hands without thinking and this made him look at her. 

“Hey, what is wrong?” she asked and looked as worried as she was. He sighed and just shock his head, still as miserable looking as he was when she arrived. 

“Talk to me, I want to help you,” trying to get through to him was tough and he refused again, so she pulled her ace out. 

“Please Ben, let me help you. Please,” this worked, he looked up when she called his name. She smiled slightly and he sighed again. 

“What happened?” she asked and this time he looked like he was gonna answer. 

“Snoke just pissed me of today. He runs his mouth sometimes and... well today it just got to me, lets leave it at that,” his answer was a bit cryptic but at least he had said something and that was progress. 

“Well, that is another reason for leaving the gang. Your boss being an ass,” she said and he nodded, still not cheered up, but definitely getting better than when she started. 

“You don't like him, huh,” a hit of amusement is visible in his eyes and she laughs. 

“I think I might hate him, and I don't tend to hate anyone, but the way he just assumed I would become his girl, was just... And then he send you after me... He is supposed to be a grown man right, older than you,” she looked at him and he nod as his mood rises. 

“He is 21, so yes, he is supposed to be an adult,” he confirmed her suspicion and she just shock her head. 

“Why does he act like a spoiled child then?” she asks and his expression gets a bit dark as he looks at her. 

“He might act like a spoiled child, but you have no idea how twisted his mind is,” as he said this she suddenly got a flashback to the other night, overhearing the bimboes talking about Kylo and she looked at him, could this be it?

“Did he say something inappropriate? Is that it?” her voice was sure and so was the look in her eyes as she spoke. 

 

How did she know what had happened? Or was it a guess? Questions ran through his mind at light speed. 

“How?” was all he could say and she shock her head as she looked down. 

“The same happened to me when I came back to my room yesterday. I was about to slap someone before Rose talked to me and helped me. But living with the two other girls is not the easiest thing in the world...” she trailed of and all he could think of was who the two girls had been talking about that had made her angry enough to want to hurt someone. Had it been him? It couldn't, he was not that important to her, or that is what he hoped. 

“Who ware they talking about?” his voice was nothing more than a whisper as he asked the question. He regret it as soon as the words left his mouth, as he saw her shoulders tens up. Then she relaxed, and he just looked at her as she kept looking down. 

“They talked about Snoke... and you...” she admitted and his jaw hit the floor. He could see her cheeks blush slightly, but her eyes was fixed on the couch below them.   
Had she just admitted that she cared for him, and had gotten pissed because the two room mates had talked about him in an inappropriate way. His mind was gone, blown away by her words and there was nothing left to make sure he didn't just say something that he wound regret. 

“Snoke talked about you and I nearly beat him,” he said and was happy that he had not added anything about him loving her to that... He still had a bit of his sense left and that keep him from messing up big time.   
She looked up and he looked down, sure that he would just tell her if their eyes meet. He had known her for three days and he was already sure that he had to know her. Even just being her friend would be enough for him, even that would make him less lonely. The tension between them was intense and he could not break it, did not even know how to. 

 

He sighed as he looked down and she just smiled, before she stood up and walked over to find her bag, knowing that the tension would only be broken for now, was to pretend that nothing had been said. So she found her books and started to do her reading at the table, looking at him over her book as he just sat for a while, before he looked over at her and she continued to read. Giving him the space he needed, before he came and sat in front of her, working on a thin piece of wood. She took notes and read through her school books, knowing the faster she did his, the more time she could spend trying to talk to him, and even if it all ended out being as intense as it had been a few minutes ago, it was still better than not talking to him. She knew she was past the point of no return, she probably turned that corner when she had helped him after dinner two days ago... She knew it, but was not ready to admit it yet. 

 

Amilyn got of work at 4pm and went home, letter hidden in an inner pocket of her bag, to keep it safe. She shopped on the way to her house and when she arrived Leias car was on its spot. She walked in with a smile on her lips and the wine in her hand. Leia was in the kitchen, making coffee and looking at her last picture of Ben. It was placed on the fridge door together with drawings he had done as a kid. Amilyn got soft when she saw Leia reach out and touch the photo. 

“Hey Honey, I'm home and I have something I need to give you,” she said as she placed the wine on the kitchen table and Leia turned around and smiled at her, with sadness still present in her eyes. This made Amilyn walk straight over and hugging her. 

“It is okay, he is fine, he is okay,” she said and slowly dragged Leia into the living room with her, sitting her down next to her on the couch. 

“It is about Ben. He has meet someone, a girl. She is a fighter and she is trying to help him,” starting of lightly she watched as Leias expression changed. 

“Tell me about the girl please,” Leia wanted to know about this girl who was fighting for her son, her poor son, who had been through to much. 

“She is an orphan, Rey Smith, and she knew him 10 years ago, when they lived in the same abusive foster family for six months. She is a great student, is 16 years old and was the one who fixed Ben up after his last beating from the gang. But this is not even the best part,” as Amilyn said all this Leia tried to piece the girl together, but her last sentence was to intriguing. 

“What is the best part?” Leia, who was the most calm person Amilyn had ever meet was acting impatient and this made her smile. 

“Rey got a hold of pictures of you in some way, and informations too. She have told him a bit and given him pictures of you, but won't tell him our address. And that is why she brought me this, to give to you,” Amilyn takes out the letter and hands it to Leia, who is lost for words. 

She watches as her partner and lover reads the letters on then envelope 'To mom, from Ben'. Watches as tears starts to form and Leias hands slowly starts to open the letter. She watched her sons handwriting for the first time in years and did not even read it before she had admired that Amilyn moved closer, wrapping her arms around Leia as she reads over her shoulder. 

'Hey mom, it is me Ben...   
I know it has been a long time...   
I'm okay mom, I live in a group home right now and that is fine and I'm fine. I have this lady, Amilyn, that treats me like family and this new girl, I used to know, who is helping me out now.

Mom do you remember our special weekend? That weekend where uncle was gone, dad was working an grandfather was passed out in his room? The weekend where we made pancakes and watched the Star Wars movies from Saturday morning till Sunday night, talking about them and you made me a Han costume for that Halloween. I never really got to thank you for that weekend or any of the other days we spend together. Never got a chance to tell you how much that meant to me... Never got the chance to tell you how much I love you mom... But I do, still love you. 

I heard from Rey, the girl who is sitting next to me and studying, that you have tried to get in contact with me every year since I was removed from home... I never knew... But thank you, I...   
Kinda wanna say that I have never hated you, not even when you yelled at me for not cleaning my room... I only hated... Well, grandfather, uncle and dad... But never you... I just wished we had more time together when I was a kid, wished we had more hugs... I still remember your hugs and how you would sneak in to my room and sleep in my bed, because you and dad had a fight. I still remember your tears in my hair and how you would wake me up for school... I remember everything, every day with you... 

But mom I did something stupid when I moved here... I became a part of a gang and now I don't think I can get out of it... I know to much and I think I'm stuck... I know Rey want me out, but I just don't know how... And that brings her in danger and that is something I hate more than anything... I just don't know what to do mom... 

Anyway, I hope to hear from you mom... This is the most times I have written mom ever... 

I love you mom. 

Love from your Ben...' 

 

Leia was crying, each sentence hit her, each 'mom' destroyed her. And the whole letter just made her wanna get into her car and drive over and get her baby boy and hold him close. But she couldn't and it pained her more than anything.   
She had been the only one who had been crying when her son was taken from the family. She had begged, pleaded and done Everything in her power to get him back. She had left her family, she had started fresh and had gotten her job at Barns and Nobles, and then she had meet Amilyn when she went in to talk about her son. Amilyn had offered her a cup of coffee when she came out, crying as she always did after one of these talks. They had talked and exchanged numbers and that had lead to where they ware today, with Amilyn holding Leia in her arms and making the pain seem more tolerable. 

Amilyn had kept her up to date on what her son was doing, but reading his words was both the best and worst thing that had happened in the past 12 years. She was so surprised that he remembered everything and touched that he even remembered her hugs. She smiled as she thought back to him dressed as Han, being exited. The Halloween had been a nightmare, and both of them had ended up I his room, her bruised and beaten and him crying, after her father and brother had gone berserk. And that was the reason Ben hated Halloween as a kid, because it brought back memories of violence and hurt. 

She was happy that her foolish son had seen the light, and that he wanted out of the gang. She would look into what he could do. But the fact that he wanted out meant so much to her and the fact that she had this one girl to thank for all this made her incredibly warm around her heart. Through her tears and her sobs she made a decision. 

“I can't see right now, but I gotta make a reply tonight and a short message for Rey, cause I gotta meet her,” she was trying her best to make Amilyn understand her through her sobs and her love nodded and kissed her cheek gently. 

“I'll arrange a time and place, don't worry about anything. Now, let your tears run dry love,” Amilyn turns Leia in her arms so they are face to face, before the older woman is wrapped completely in her purple haired partners arms. She cried for a long time, cried for all the years lost, for her sons hurt heart and for all the days they could have spend together. 

After her tears ran dry she let Amilyn go and went to the office and started to write her response letter. She was done when dinner was on the table and came down with puffy, red eyes, from another crying session. She handles the letter to Amilyn and it is placed in the bag before they eat together and then spend the night talking about Ben and his childhood.


	8. A request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change is coming, a request is made and a letter written in desperation.

Chapter 8: A request.

Back at the group home it had become dinnertime. Kylo had finished the rough cut of the bookmark and had stated to work on the details right before they had been going downstairs. A thought had struck him as he sat and carved. 10 years ago Rey had been wearing nothing but dresses, but he had not seen her in one so fare. 

He was relieved that she had broken the tension, was relieved that she seem to have a better self-control and relieved that he had not told her that he love her. He needed to keep that from ever happening, because she did not need more of him in her live. Not now at least. He needed to get better, needed to become better, to get out of the gang and get a dream, something he wanted to do with his life.   
She had done this, made him want to become better, to do more. She had given him hope that he will be able to do all of this. But he knew it had to be done for him and not for anyone ells, but that did not mean he wouldn't use both Rey and his mother as motivation. They ware his goals, to be able to stand tall with them. To be able to feel worthy of their affections and their time, and hopefully over time their love. He was slowly starting to see what his life had become and he did not like it.   
Intimidating people on a daily basis, being used as a weapon by Snoke and hurting people... And then getting hurt if he did not finish the job... He could see why Rey had yelled at him Monday, he had been fullish and she was right and he needed to tell her this at some point, but not right now... 

He was sitting next to Hux and poked his food, not really hungry as he realized just how bad his situation was. To shake that thought he started to think about what clothes Rey had been wearing, she was always covered up and it was never tight fitted, it was always kinda loose fitting. It was also always a pants/shirt combo, no dresses or skirts, and always neutral colours like browns, greys and a bit of dusty blue. For some reason he really wanted to see her in a dress, how would she look in one? And what style would she pick if she ever had to wear a dress? 

Whit that on his mind he left dinner early and went back to the room, where he found Rey already sitting over her books again. 

“Did you remember to eat?” he asks as he walks over to her and looks over her shoulder. Math homework. She nods and he just smiles as he pulls out a chair next to her and she looks at him. 

“I did, but I wasn't that hungry, but is there something I can help you with?” the way she looked at him was nearly to much and he had to grab a hold of himself and gather his thoughts before he could ask his question. 

 

“So, I have never seen you in a dress, do you not wear them anymore?” he asked and she just looked at him for a second to check if he was being serious, this was what was on his mind? Really? He was a strange man... But kinda cute at the same time and she looked back to her books as she answered. 

“People tend to notice me more when I wear dresses or any fitted kind of clothes and since I just wanna stay in the background I just don't wear it anymore. But why do you ask?” she was curious what had sparked the dress question. Did he want to see her in one? Was that it? 

“Just because I wanted to know why you don't wear dresses anymore. There is not really a reason,” he lies and she can tell. 

“Do you wanna see me in a dress? Is that it?” she had to ask and by the look on his face she had been right. He looked down till she turned to him, a note pad in front of her and a pen in her hand. 

“What cut do you want the dress to have, and what style?” she asked and he looked at her with a surprised face.

“So you are going to make a dress, just because I ask you to?” he just still looks at her in disbelieve and she starts to draw a few dress types, long, knee length and short as well as different skirt types, tight, lose and puffy.   
As she does this he starts to comment on them, but in the end he is not really helping her out, since he is fine with almost everything. 

“You know what, I think I'm just gonna go for the worst type of dress I know, bodycon, if it is alright with you,” she looks up at him after drawing a simple sketch of one and he looks at it for a short second. 

“As long as you are comfortable with that, then do it,” he says and she nods before she gets up and find her measuring tape and starts to take her own measurements to make sure she has the correct one for the dress, thinking about what she needs and what she has. She has a long zipper and some fabric, but it will be easier to just find a dress and alter it to fit her, so she decides to go after school Friday. She the notice that he is still looking at her, with a gentle look on his face and she can't help but smile as she looks down and write the last measurements down. She then returns to her spot and looks at him. 

His long hair looks so soft and puffy in this moment that she just want to reach out and let her fingers run through it, and she gets an idea. 

 

“But now that I'm making a dress to show you, can I braid your hair?” she asks and looks super innocent. He never really thought about someone wanting to touch his hair. Yes, it was long, and yes there was a lot of it, but a braid? But then again, why not? And if that was gonna make her happy, then sure.   
So he just nods and then watches as she gets some hair ties and a comb from her bag. That girl is just well prepared, and he then follows her with his eyes as she comes over behind him. He sits up straight as she puts down her tools. 

He had not expected this, but as soon as she let her hands run through his hair he got goosebumps all over. And then it was like all his nerves on his scalp was working overtime, he felt her every touch and as the minutes past he finally started to relax a bit more. He still felt ever pull of his hair and her gentle touch as she worked on a braid that started at his temple and went to the back of his head. After she tied the first one she started one right next to the first one and when she was done with that one she came around and looked at him. He put on his game face and tried to hid any of the feelings that had been on full display just seconds ago, not wanting her to know just how much he had enjoyed everything. It had been mind blowing and he thought he might have found a weakness in him self, her touching his hair. 

She looked at him and admired her handy work before she found a hand mirror in her bag. 

“You really have everything in that bag, don't you,” he can't help but smile as he says that and she smiles back. 

“It is my everyday bag, and even if I don't always use it, then it might come in handy at some point, like today,” she smiles and handles him the mirror as she speaks. He looks at him self, it does not look bad. He tries to shake his head a bit and he does not get hair in his face. That was something new and fairly exiting. He looks at her and see that she is smiling. 

“It is practical, can you do this again at some point? When we are here?” he asks and she smiles even more. 

“Sure, when ever you need a braid just text me,” she answers and he thinks about it. The braid works here and now, because they are here, alone and no one can see it. 

“But I can't be wearing a braid around the others, then they are gonna ask who made it and that is something that just can't happen,” even the thought of Snoke finding out that he was meeting the girl he liked was horrifying. He knew Snoke would probably wanna kill him, or make the druggies make an attempt on their lives and that was not something he was gonna risk, just to wear braids and not getting hair in his face. 

 

His hair had been more than she had expected. Softer than soft and yet so easy to work with. He had been sitting completely still and that had helped her a lot. At first she had just been playing with his hair before she had started to comb it, to make sure it was ready for the braids. She had started on his usual parting and made the first braid there. After the first braid was down she could make one next to it. She had only braided the part that was gonna be laying on his head and had used small hair ties in dark brown to secure them in place, before she had looked at the result.   
Not to bad, and he looked really charming with his hair like that. Still super bad ass, but just a bit softer than he usually looked. When he did the shake test she couldn't help but smile and when he had asked for her to do it again later she was nearly jumping up and down, but then his expression had changed. It had turned dark and she wondered why, but did not dare to ask. It could have something to do with Snoke and his reaction if he ever found out. 

She sat down again, looking at her homework without seeing it as she thought about Snoke and the gang. She new she was in danger and that it was big danger, not just the 'I'm gonna be just fine' danger, but the 'I might get killed at some point' danger. This should scare her more right, this should matter to her more and yet she is more concerned by the fact that Kylo might get killed or hurt along with her. Thinking about this made her realize just how deep she was in. She loved the fool who was sitting next to her, braids in his hair, looking to the distance, looking way to hansom.   
She sighed and then tried to focus on her homework. Getting the last bit done before 9 PM as Kylo works on his small piece of wood. She get up and stretches her arms up into the air and yarns. 

“I think I might go down and get some sleep, but can I come along for your run again tomorrow?” she ask and looks at Kylo, who looks up from his work. He looks at her for a moment before he answers. 

“I don't know... One time might have been one to many,” he looks at her, concern written all over his face. She steps closer and he just sighs. 

“I'm gonna be okay, you know that right. I can take care of my self. I beat you, remember?” she says, trying to help her case and he just shakes his head. 

“I can't do that to you! I can't put you in any danger and you'll be in danger if we are seen my anyone who are loyal to Snoke. I just can't risk it,” he got up and looked down at her, making her feel really small and weak in front of him as he towers over her.   
So this was how he intimidated someone. She got it now, she had no desire to make him angry and just nodded. Not really scared of him, but scared of what he might do if someone found out about them. 

“But you have to be careful as well and make sure I don't need to patch you up again,” she says, looking directly up into his eyes, showing no fear. He was not the only one who could be overprotective and intimidating. 

 

Looking down at her acting protective and trying to intimidate him was kinda cute, and he had to mentally slap him self not to smile. This once it worked and he just nodded as she packed her bag and got ready to leave. 

“I'll text you tomorrow, sleep well and stay out of trouble,” he said as she left the room, locking it after her. 

That girl... She was... He had to be careful around her! That was a fact. He needed to be careful and not just do what he truly wanted. He could not tell her everything because that would change everything. Some things would become better and that would be a great thing, but if they ware to go on a normal date and get discovered then they could get killed. No way in hell was he gonna exchange a few kisses for her life. He'd rather live his whole life knowing she was alive and well, than have a few days or a few months of secret dates and then have to die together with her, because there was no chance that he would let anyone kill her. Then the would have to kill him first and that was something he was ready for. 

He sighed as he sat down on the couch, his head in his hands. He had known this girl for what, three days and was ready to die for her... He needed help and he had no one he could turn to. Amilyn would tell him to just get out of the gang, Rey would kick his ass if she knew how fare he would go for her. Hux would tell on him and Snoke would kill him... Mom might be able to help me, or at least she wont kill me or hurt me if I asked her for guidance...   
He found some paper and a pen and started to write 

'Hey mom,   
I need help... I'm falling for this girl... But I have no idea if I'm strong enough to protect her... I need to make sure she is safe, but she is not safe with me and it kills me. I need someone to talk to and I have no one and now I'm writing to you... Desperate... I need to get out of the gang, and I need to do that fast... And get Snoke locked up if possible, to make sure she is safe... But I don't know how to do that mom... All I know is that I just can't stand the thought of her getting hurt in any way, shape or form... I love her and I can't do anything about it because I'm afraid of what will happen to her if Snoke finds out... And I can't just kill Snoke, because then I'll be going to jail and we won't be able to see each other...   
Please help me mom... I need you... 

Ben'


	9. A dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not a dream, but it has a dream in it.

It was Thursday morning and Rey was ready to leave for school as early as she had been Monday. She had slept well, but had a strange dream; She was in a big red room, falling to the ground in front of Kylo. She looked at him before reaching up and catching a blue lightsaber. He was standing in front of her holding a red one with a cross guard design. They look at each other for a short moment before they both realized that there was people around them and they spun around in perfect unison, standing back to back. A fight broke out, attacks came from right, left and centre, she stabbed, twisted, kicked and tried to keep him safe as she felt him taking a step back. She used his energy, grabbing his thigh to help her maintain her balance and kicked someone, while she was almost laying on his back. Then they had split up, and he had pulled most of the men with him, leaving only two to follow her. She tried her hardest, got a small wound on her shoulder in the process, and didn't have time to look at how he was doing, until it was almost to late. She saw him struggling, held by an attacker in a headlock before she yelled out 'BEN'. She threw her lightsaber and almost willed it to his hand and he cough it. Igniting it into the head of the enemy he was safe. With all everyone dead he slowly walked over to her and she did the same thing. Catching their breaths as they do, they meet in the middle, weapons deactivated. She looked up into his dark eyes and he looked down into hers. They just looked at each other, looking so deeply she looses her self... and that was when she awoke. 

She was writing this dream down as she was waiting for it to be late enough for her to leave for school. As she sat there she noticed someone and she looked up. Kylo was watching her, looking around to make sure they are alone, before he walked over to her. He has a letter in his hand as he approaches and she turns to him, hiding her notes from her dream. 

“Can you get this letter to my mom?” he asked, giving her the letter. She placed it in her bag and send him a small smile. 

“Sure, anything ells?” she asked, not really knowing what to do, this place was not safe and she know they could be busted any minute. 

“Stay safe and don't read this letter, please. I'll see you later, so don't do anything stupid,” he said, a soft look in his eyes. She nods and he walks away as she kept her eyes on his brought back till he is out of sight.

Trying to focus again she looked down to the paper containing her dream. She had dreamt about Star Wars before and the whole lightsaber thing was a clear sign it had been one of those dreams. But it had been so different from her usual dreams. She was always the sidekick and never the main person in her dreams. Always following her heroes Obi-Wan, Padmé, Anakin, Luke, Leia, Han or Chewbacca. 

But this had been so different, she had been at the centre of the action and she hadn't been alone. She had never seen anyone she knew in her Star Wars dreams, it had always been the characters and her, but Kylo had been in this one... 

And another thing was how real it had felt. Everything had felt so completely real, looked real. The details of the dream had been so crisp. His clothes had been made of heavy black fabric, he had been wearing black boots and black leather gloves. And he had a scar, running from above his right eyebrow, near the middle of his forehead, down his cheek and neck, and under his uniform. He had no beard, and looked younger than he did in real life. But the look in his eyes was the same, that tender look he had before they started to fight. 

The whole fight was so intense she had thought she was going to die. She had so many times where the guards had almost killed her, but she had made it and had even helped Kylo. But she had called him Ben and he had reacted... Was that just a coincidence or was this a sign that he was slowly turning from Kylo back to Ben? 

Her head was spinning and she hadn't even taken into account why they had to defend their lives. The room had resembled a thrown room, it even had a thrown, that had been behind her when her dream had stated, right when she had hit the ground from a low distance. She had not had the high ground in this dream. 

Closing her eyes she saw the room again and noticed a large figure laying next to the thrown, cut in half. Had he been the leader? If so, who had killed him? She had been all the way across the room, back to him, facing Kylo, but the blue lightsaber, her lightsaber had come from that direction. Could it be that Kylo had force powers in her dream? Was that even possible? But hold on a second! When she had thrown the lightsaber she had been to fare from Kylo for her throw to have reached him, that was a simple fact, but she had thought, wanted, no demanded it to reach his hand. Does that mean she had force powers in her dream as well?

That would explain why they had the lightsabers in the first place. But his had been red, so he was dark side? And hers looked like Anakins original lightsaber that Luke later had... And her blade had been blue, almost white, so she was a jedi? But she was wearing grey... And she was fairly sure she could use Kylos lightsaber as well, like he had used hers... Grey jedi? 

Scratching her head she wrote every detail down and final got to think about her own outfit. It was simple, practical and light. She had been able to move around and was sketching both her outfit and Kylos down before she placed the whole dream in her day planer, getting ready to walk to school way to early, but she needed the air to clear her mind from Kylo and Star Wars before she reached school. 

As she walked she thought about the fight, just the beginning of it. They had been back to back, worked together as is they ware one. He had covered her and she had covered him. The whole step back situation had happened and she had moved before she knew what she was doing. It had just happened and her hand had grabbed onto him to help her balance. But even in her dream he had been as strong as she knew he was in real life.   
And then he had that scar, that kinda looked like the scar that the villain Scar from the lion king had... It was not a bad look on him, but she'd rather getting beaten up than allow anyone to make that kind of scar on Kylo! She was feeling protective over him and this was just fact, but he was worse and that made her feel a bit better about the situation.   
At least I'm not the only one who want to keep us safe she thought... Wait, what us, there is no us, or there shouldn't be an us... Even if we act like there is... Thinking back to Sunday she had been spending almost every free minute either thinking about Kylo, with him or like tonight dreaming about him. 

As she walks onto school ground she laughs at her self. She had never really been in love, never really had an interest in the opposite sex, never had a crush, never had a boyfriend, just never really experienced that part of life... And now she had fallen for a guy... Rather a man, who was out of her reach, a good guy hiding under a bad boy image... She had fallen for him in less than a day and was getting jealous and protective over him. Thinking way to much about him, almost drooling over him... This was really getting out of hand, but she kind of liked it. Liked feeling like this. Liked the sense of calm her heart felt when they ware together. Liked how her heart raced when he looked at her and liked how she knew she could tell him anything without being judged... She was definitely in love. That was the truth and there was no real way back. 

School when by in a blur. She had written a draft of her dream that she wanted to share with Kylo, toning down the thigh grab as much as she could and writing it in context of Star Wars. It had been occupying her mind most of the day and now that she was on her way home she felt better.   
She knew she had to find Amilyn and give her the new letter from Kylo and then she had to meet up with him... She shook her head to try to clear it again as she walked in to the group home. Spotting Amilyn as she walked in she waved at the woman and caught her attention. 

“I have something I need to talk to you about,” Amilyn said when the distance between them have been closed. Rey nod and let the older woman lead the way to the same room they had used last time. 

“You have no idea how happy Leia was for the letter. She was crying buckets, but she was happy, thank you,” she said as she looks at Rey with a gentle smile. Rey have the new letter in her hand and looked at Amilyn, who also had letters in her hand. 

“I'm glad to hear she liked the letter, I got an opportunity to read that first letter and it brought me to tears. But he wrote this letter yesterday or this morning, asking me to deliver it without reading it, so...” Rey hands Amilyn the letter and get the two letters in return. She looked at them and one is addressed to her. She looked up at Amilyn, clearly confused. 

“Leia wanna thank you for your hard work over the last couple of days, so she wrote a letter and really wanna meet you if you have the time. You know, you have achieved something I have worked on for years in less than a week; getting Ben to see the light. And for that we will forever bee in your debt,” Amilyn voice was soft and the smile she send Rey was big. Rey was surprised and happy at the same time, knowing she had helped out. 

“Well, I have spare time every day, so pick a time and place and I'll be there. But that whole saving Ben thing, I have hardly done anything... I have patched him up and talked to him, but that's it... Nothing more, nothing less, so you are not in debt. I'm just happy that I got a chance to meet him again,” as Rey spoke a smile slowly started to form and blossom on her face. 

“Then I'll contact you as soon as Leia and I have made arrangements for your meeting,” Amilyn said and both smiled at each other before parting ways. 

Rey went up to the room and locked her self in, looking around. He must be working, she thought to her self before she placed her bag on the table and took the letter addressed to her. She sat down on the couch before looking at the letter. The handwriting was pretty, and had a warm feeling to it. It was in moments like this she wished she had a mom. A mom who would take time out of her day to write a handwritten letter to her, or even just a note... Kylo, no Ben was lucky. He had a mom like that and she wanted him so badly that she had fought for him for over twelve years. If that wasn't love then she did not know what was! 

Slowly opening the letter, not to damage the envelope she pulled out the small letter. 

'Dear Rey, 

I wanted to thank you for everything you have done so fare.  
Thank you for helping my lost son, for fixing him up and for just being there when I can't. I can't wait to meet you and get a chance to get to know you.   
Stay safe and may the force be with you, always!

Love Leia Organa'

 

He had arrived later than he usually did, but he had been working, scaring a few idiots that thought paying for drugs was optional... They never learn do they, he thought as he noticed Rey on the couch, her back turned to him. She hadn't noticed him yet so he just walked up and looked over her shoulder out of curiosity. 

“What are you doing?” he asked and she looks up. He noticed how close their faces ware and he stood up straight as she turned around to face him. 

“Your mom have written back, to both of us. I was just reading my letter,” she said and looked down to the letter in her hands, smiling. He just looked at her for a few seconds, captured by her smile. 

“What did it say? Your letter?” nervous about what his letter was gonna say he tried to delay reading it with this question. 

“She basically thanks me and wanna meet up later... I'm just nervous that I'm not who she thinks I am...” he can hear how insecure she was feeling and he sat down next to her, looking at her with a serious look in his eyes. 

“Who do you think she wants you to be?” he asked, his eyes locked with hers. 

“Both your mom and her partner thinks I'm your saviour... Her partner told me that they have been trying to help you as much as they could over the past few years and that they have failed. And then they pointed out that I have done more since Sunday than they ever could... But all I have done is believe in you and talk to you... right?” she looked completely lost and he took the letter from her to take her hands and just looked down at how small they ware in his. He nods a bit as he looked into her eyes again, with a softer look on his face. 

“You have helped me. You have made me find hope and now I really want to change. But getting out of a gang controlled by Snoke might be close to impossible... But if you haven't been here I would never have even thought of quitting. So thank you. Thank you for kicking my ass and for showing me what true friendship looks like,”the sincerity in his voice was undeniable and he looked at her for a few seconds, before looking at the table where his letter was waiting for him. He reached out and took it, looking at the handwriting for the first time before he opened it.


	10. Letter from mom.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter from mom and a new one to her!

'Dear Ben,   
my precious son, my baby boy.   
As you know I'd doing fine. I have not been in contact with your father or my family since a short while after you ware removed from us. I cut all ties with them, couldn't even look at them because I knew what they had done.   
When I first move out I could barely look at myself, I let that happen and it broke my heart, but I had bills to pay and all I could do was work... And for that I'm sorry. Sorry that I couldn't take better care of you and protect you from the rest of the family.

I know you never hated me, but I still wanna make it up to you and that is why I'm gonna be completely upfront with you.   
A few years after I lost you I meet a woman, and she changed my life. She works at your group home and I know you have noticed her, since you mentioned her in your letter. Yes, it is Amilyn Holdo and I love her very much. We had a small ceremony and are married, even if it isn't recognized by the state. She have been telling me how you are doing over the years. We both know it is breaking a ton of rules, but I had to know how you ware doing and that is why she did it. I hope you don't get to mad at us for acting like this. 

I more than remember our Star Wars weekend and how you looked at me when the princess and I shared name. I remember you calling me your queen and wanting to be my little protective Jedi. I remember it all and it still makes me smile to think about that weekend. 

I know you mentioned Rey and Amilyn have told me a little about her, but I would love to hear what you truly think about her. Has she already saved you by making you see how special you are? Because I have always known you ware the sweetest kid in the world. But I'm just your old mom, so I know I might be biased. 

I'm gonna talk to a lawyer to see if I can help you in any way. Amilyn have told me about the gang and I know enough to try and look into it. I'll send a message to you as soon as I have anything to tell you on that front. 

But my dear child, I know you are a man now, I just haven't seen you for so long, so I have no idea how you look anymore... How tall have you become? Are you taller than me now? Did your voice change a lot? And how about beard, are you like my family where the beard game is strong or like your fathers side where the beard game is weak. (Did I sound like the young people do or did I embarrasses you?)   
If you could send a picture I would appreciate it, just know it is going on the fridge as soon as I get it. And I'm also curious about how Rey look, so can you get Amilyn to take a picture of the two of you?   
I know I'm asking a lot, but I just want to see you, and see what you see everyday. If I could be with you I would. I even have an extra room for you in our house, for when you get out of the system... Have had it just in case I ever got the opportunity to get you home... 

Sweetheart, know that I, your mom, love you more than anything. You will forever be my baby boy, my little man and my pride. I love you my son. 

Please write to me soon and I'll answer immediately. 

Stay safe my son, and may the force be with you, always!

Love Mom.'

As he read it tears started to poke the inside of his eyelids. She was blaming her self, even if she was the last person he would ever blame. She had been the one to keep the family running, she had provided everything, had been working so hard while the rest of the family had done nothing but use and abuse her good heart.   
He read on getting surprised by the fact that she was together with Amilyn, but at least it explained why she had always treated him like family. He was her family and he would have to find her and talk to her later and possible hug her... Possible... 

The rest of the letter was like a blur, he understood every word, and felt every word, but the more he read the less control he had and tears started to run down his cheek. He felt Rey move closer to him on the couch and her hand on his cheek to wipe his tears away as he just kept reading. 

He had never felt so loved as he did when he had read the last part of her letter and a small chuckle had left his lips as he had read her 'May the force be with you, always' line. She was truly a Star Wars fan. He slowly lowered the letter and closed his eyes as she stopped wiping his tears away. 

“Are you okay?” her voice was low and he heard a hint of concern. He looked up and into her hazel eyes. He didn't break eye contact as he nodded and she send him a small smile, before she reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand. 

“What did your letter say?” she asked and he told her as they kept eye contact. 

 

She was shocked by the fact that Leia had told him about Amilyn, but it made it easier for them all. 

“The reason I didn't tell you about your mom and Amilyn was because of the rules that they are breaking by Amilyn working here with you,” She explained and he nodded, fully understanding. 

As he told her about his mom wanting pictures of him she suggested that she could take some and that she could drop them on a small flash drive on Monday and he agreed to this without even thinking about it.

As he talked about how much his mom cared for him he almost started to cry again and she smiled at him, trying to stop his tears flowing by simply smiling and it worked to some degree. 

“But you can read the letter while I write my reply if you want to,” he said after he had told her roughly what was written. She smiled at this idea and they finally broke eye contact as they stood up and walked over to the table where they sat next to each other. The letter from Leia was between them as he started to write his letter to his mom. 

She kept an eye on him as he wrote, looking at his expression to make sure he was okay, and keeping her eyes of the letter. As he wrote he got a bit emotional and she placed a hand on his back, which made him tens up for a second before he wrote on. 

 

'Mom,   
I'm so happy to hear that you are doing fine. When I first heard of your new job from the informations Rey had gotten a hold of I was just so proud. You have no idea how proud I am to be your son. You are doing so well mom and I'm so happy for you.

But mom, you need to know that no matter what I'll never blame you for what happened at home. You did your very best and I knew that even as a child. Knew that you did it all for us, to try and make our life as pleasant as possible even if the others did nothing to help you... If I blame someone it is the others, but never you mom. 

I'm a bit surprised by Amilyn, but hey, if she makes you happy then I'm happy for you. And she has always treated me well, so yes I like her. She might be a pain sometimes, but it is always for my own good, so I kinda get it. I hope you two just continue to be happy mom. But if it ever get legal for same sex marriage to happen then I'm gonna be there. I don't care if I have to break rules or laws, I'm gonna be there! 

It is nice to hear that you are still a Star Wars fan my queen and general. I know it has been long since I could protect you, but know that my heart has always been with you. You have been the first person I ever cared for and the one person I have the most happy memories with. That is till I meet Rey, who is sitting next to me again. 

I meet he 10 years ago and lived with her for 6 months in this foster family. While there we became close because she was the only one who didn't allow me to bully her. She fought back and that just made me wanna fight even more with her, but I never let anyone ells touch her, not even our foster father. He would hit us and I would take most of her beatings, not wanting anyone to harm her in any way. Our foster mother was no better, she would yell at her for no reason and she would end up crying almost every night. On one of those nights I heard her and got up. I talked to her a little before she moved over in her bed and after that it became a habit for her to sleep with her head resting against my shoulder. She had been happier and I was less worried about her, knowing she was sleeping well.   
I have no idea how we got to that point, but we ended up closer than close and she became my ray of sunshine, but she did. They had Star Wars in that home and I shared my love for it with her and that is when we started to fight over which was cuter, the ewoks or the wookies and that fight never truly ended. As the foster parents had a contest with an Ewok teddy as a prise I fought hard for it and won, only to give it to her.  
When we ware separated I almost forgot her, forgot all the good memories I had...   
That was until she reminded me of what had happened, reminding me of she was this Monday. I had been ordered to beat her up by Snoke, because she refused to become his girlfriend, and she beat me, remembering my weak spots and using it against me as we fought. After that I was beaten by the gang and she fixed me up after yelling at me for a short while. And now she is the light in my life again... Ever since Monday we have been hanging out for most of our afternoon and evenings... Everything has happened so fast and I have no idea how I got here, but I need her in my life and that is a fact. I have fallen for her, and the truth is that I love her, even if I can't tell her... I need to keep her safe and that is my number one priority. She is everything to me and makes me wanna be a better man, makes me wanna do better. I finally started to think about what I want to do in the future... I'm still thinking about it, but I always just thought I would be a part of the gang for life, until I meet her. So she has saved me, pushing me in the right direction and opening my eyes to what kind of life I was living and what kind of life I could live. 

But thank you mom for looking into the legality of my case, I really hope we can find a way to get me out of this mess I have gotten myself into. If I had known he things I know now, I would never have joined the gang in the first place.'

Covering the passage about Rey, he looked at her and saw that she had been looking at his face this whole time. 

“She want to hear about how I look... Can you help me?” he asked and she nod at him. 

“You are tall, build and have great hair,” she said and he crack a smile. 

“I know that much,” amused he looked at her as she looked down and stated to write something down, before sliding it over to him. Her cheeks was lightly blushed as she did this. 

'You are not just tall, and build, you are a very well proportionally build man, with quite the mysterious and dangerous aura. You look like such a bad boy and that is not a bad thing, it truly works for you. Your dark hair frames your face perfectly even if it falls in your face all the time and your dark eyes sucks everyone that looks into them in... Your scares adds to the bad boy feel, but I know that you are soft at heart, because of the way you have always treated me.   
Your face might not be considered traditionally beautiful, but it is charming and your beard adds a few years to you... Is this enough?' 

As he read this he could feel his cheeks get hot and by the end of it they ware both blushing.

“Thank you, I think I'll just add this to the letter if it is fine with you,” he said and he could see her nod from the corner of his eye. He then started to write again. 

'For a description of me, I'll ask you to look at the page Rey wrote, making us both blush...   
As for pictures she is gonna snap some this weekend and give them to you on a flash drive no later than Monday. 

But mom, you really have a room for me in your house? I know I'm getting old and I really should be living by myself when I move out of this home, but I would love the opportunity to live with you for a while. Not for long, just a short while. 

Again, I wanna stress that I'm so proud of being your son. I love you mom and always will. 

Ben'

As he finished up the letter he smiled. This was the first time in 12 years he had heard from his mom and he couldn't wait for the next letter to arrive. And now he could hand this to Amilyn her self, and didn't have to go through Rey, but he would need her when he reserved his next letter and that was for sure. He would need her to help him be strong and she did that by just being there. He placed the letter in an envelope after writing on said envelopes front. 

 

Seeing he was done with his letter she found her 'safe for Kylo' version of her dream in her bag and looked at him, wanting to share that with him. She placed the paper on the table and slid the paper over to him with no explanation.


	11. Yes, no, maybe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey shares her dream with Kylo, and things follows. Yes, no, maybe?

As he read pages she had written in her clear handwriting he couldn't help but wonder about the meaning of the story. He had reserved no explanation, but from what he could see this seemed like it had been a dream, an extremely detailed dream. The fight scene was described well, but what stunned him was the name the girl, or Rey, had yelled out before throwing the lightsaber. She had used his birth name, Ben. Was the guy supposed to be him. He read it two times before he looked at her, curious to hear what kind of interpretation she had. 

“When did you dream this? And who is the guy in the dream?” he had to ask, needed to know if he was right when it came to the male lead of this dream. The thought of him invading her dreams was both pleasant and horrible at the same time. People usually only dream about people they care about and he had been down that rabbit hole a few times already. He needed to make sure Snoke couldn't touch her before he could even consider telling her how he felt about her. 

“This dream was from last night. I never have this detailed dreams and never remember them this clearly... The guy in the dream was you, but you ware a dark side force user and I was a light side force user... But we fought together... Just wanted to show you, because I found it interesting, and strange at the same time. But the thing is, I think there was more to this dream than what I was shown. I mean, who was the dead man laying in front of the thrown and why did dark side dream you kill him?” he could see how eager she was when she spoke and that made him smile.   
He thought about it for a few seconds before he looked at the dream description again. 

“The thrown was behind you all that time, and you had been right in front of me. I had my lightsaber in my hand facing you... If that is true, and he is anything like me, then the only reason I would have killed him was if he had threatened you. But that is taking the leap and saying that dream me will act like me, and well, would he?” after the words had left his lips he regretted it, she might misunderstand some of it, but she just nodded and he calmed down a bit, before he looked at her. She was writing down additional notes, and then looked up, an intelligent look in her eyes that looked great. He admired her for how clever she was, and for how easy she made everything look. 

“He was completely you, he had the same look in his eyes as you have, and the feeling of you was there as well,” she said as she wrote and he wasn't sure he had herd right. He had a special feel? He was about to dig his own grave, but then again, Rey had literally handed him the shovel and had started to dig before she had handled the tool to him to finish the job. 

“What kind of feeling are we talking about?” where was the lightsaber from her dream, so he could cut his own tong out? Mentally slapping him self didn't do much, he needed to find a new way to snap back from his new found 'puppy' mode... this was getting serious. He was starting to act like a lost puppy in need of love and he just didn't have the time for that... He needed to get out of the gang... 

 

“You know, just the feeling of knowing you and trusting you, that kind of feeling,” she explained, not really sure if she had saved it. Why had she mentioned that? She was stupid and she mentally hit her self a few times. Was she trying to let him know how she felt? No, yes, maybe? Was that a bad idea? Most definitely! She didn't have the time, and yet she had spend all her free time with Kylo... The truth was this: they ware basically a couple all they needed to do was say those 3 words and then the world would change. She already knew he cared for her and he knew she cared for him, but they just ignored that for now. Hiding the feelings that they both could feel. She let her thumb nail dig into her ring finger to snap out of it and it helped a bit, making it easier to control her heart and her mind. She needed to get back on track, could not go down the rabbit hold, not now. 

“So that means dream me killed someone for you, right?” she knew Kylo tried to get them back and she appreciated it. She snapped back and nodded, writing that part down. 

“I just have this feeling that this won't be the last dream... And that makes me exited, but what if something bad happens?” she had been having this thought luring in the back of her mid all day and for some reason, she just told him, not even thinking about it. She felt him move closer and gently pat her head. Had she looked worried? She must have, that was the only explanation for his action. She looked up at him, sighing. Why did he have to look like that... So perfectly imperfect... Looking down she places her pen on the paper and starts to draw. She drew the house, sketched it and she could feel his eyes on her as she did this. He was still close, but drawing the house was enough to keep her mind occupied. 

“Nothing bad would happen, it is just a dream after all... But what are you drawing?” he mumbled as she added the second floor and the additional smaller huts. She couldn't help but smile as she looked at the drawing. She had been drawing this for so long, and this looked good. 

 

“It is where I'm gonna live when I've become an architect. It is my dream house, what I have been working on since I was 6 years old and drew the first sketch in crayon,” she said and he looked down at the drawing, impressed. It looked beautiful. A home he could tell was inspired by the way the ewok homes worked. The addition of the smaller huts, that had a pathway to the larger one was clever. He started to think about what kind of wood that could be used, and as she added tags to things, naming them he grabbed a pen as well and shifted so he stood right behind her. He leaned in over her, placing his left hand on the table for support before he started to write down types of wood that would work for as the outside walls and floors, as well as the roof. He felt her surprise over the sudden closeness, but he just enjoyed it. It felt like a dick move, but he loved being this close to her, loved that he made her blush and loved the fact that she just tried to continue what she was doing, but was clearly distracted.   
Was he a bad guy for enjoying it this much, maybe. But at least this proved that he wasn't the only one getting affected. She had put her pen down and he noticed her right hand, her thumb nail digging into her finger and he reacted instinctively. Dropping his own pen and taking her right hand in his. 

“Don't you dare harm your self! I'm having a hard enough time making sure Snoke and Hux don't harm you and now you are doing it your self, do I have to be worried?” he was serious as he held her small hand in his, pressing his fingers in between hers, to make sure she couldn't hurt herself. She blushed before he noticed what that kind of hand holding would usually mean, but he didn't let go and he stayed where he was, still leaned over her, but just holding her hand now. He was already torturing himself when he had stepped closer and had patted her head, so this was just a bit more of the same and if things ended badly he could always remember this as he died. Did that sound way more dramatic than it needed, yes! But was it the truth, yes... He had this and all the memories of them as kids teasing each other, her curled up next to him, falling asleep while watching movies and her curled up at his shoulder as they slept.

“It... I need a way to stay focused okay, and I have only done this twice, but if you wanna help, just please let go of me... Please don't get offended, I just need to try and concentrate and I can't with you this close...” this was the first time he had heard her beg for something and he slowly released her hand and stepped back, before he sat down on his chair again, never looking away from her. He focused on her face, it was bright pink. Smiling as he saw that he knew what she had been taling about. He could never truly focus when she was close and he had mentally slapped himself just minutes prior, but he would never self harm to focus. 

 

“Just promise me you won't do any self harm, not even this, to concentrate...” he trailed of as he reached for her had again and she looked over at him, letting her hand reach back. 

The other touch had surprised her and this shouldn't but it still did. As his fingertips touched hers she felt like electricity was flowing through her. It might have been because they had been so close when they had held hands before but this just felt so different. It felt so intense and as their hands slowly grabbed a hold at each other she couldn't help but think about how perfectly her hand fitted into his. She knew it was cheesy, but it was like it was made for him, and she was fine with that. Wait what? She needed focus, but today was just not her day.   
She reached down to her bag and he followed her move, to keep her hand in his. How could he do this? Be this sweet... One thing was for sure, as soon as he had left the gang she would not hold back... She knew it would take time, but hopefully not to long. And no, she wouldn't just jump him, what she wanted was to be in his arms, feeling safe and whole for once. She already felt so much better when he was just here, but she had this feeling that it would be better when she didn't have to hide anything from him. When she didn't have to think before she spoke and could just loose her self in him completely. 

She had retrieved her notes on the house, that she always had in her bag. She showed him her notes, spread them between them with her left hand. He had seen her struggle and had helped her. She watched his face as he looked over the plans, hoping he liked it, wanting his praise more than anything. She had noticed he had pulled his chair closer to hers and had let their hands rest on his thigh. This hadn't made her blush, but that might be because his hand was the one resting on his thigh. 

 

“This seem like such a great house. I love the idea and you have even thought of plumbing,” to say he was impressed was an understatement. He could imagine the house, fully build and functional. He wouldn't admit to it, but he wanted to be the one to stay with her in that house, and as he saw the kids room, he had a hard time to think of anything other than what Rey and his kids would look like. 

“I'm happy that you like it... You ware there when I draw the original inspiration, mu first try. And I have just been adding details ever since, changing the design to fit with what a house should be and I think this is as close to a final drawing I'll get before I start on the path to become an architect,”He could tell how proud she was from how she looked at her drawings, but he was still thinking about the fact that she wanted kids. 

“But do you want kids at some point,” this was the second time he had done this in how long? He needed to stop him self, get a filter, just do something... He looked down and could feel her looking over at him for a short second before she returned her focus to her paper and he sneaked a peak at her, just to make sure she was blushing. She was and he squished her hand a bit, to encourage her to answer. 

“At some point, yes... I think that is what most people want... I also wanna get married at some point, but I have never really dated so hat is probably something that is gonna happen a long time from now,” her voice was soft, but steady as she spoke and he looked over at her, as she looked over at him. 

He had to bide his tong not to just propose then and there. He tasted blood as he realized he had bit a hole in his tong. But he wanted to be the one, the one to be with her, to be her first and only boyfriend, to be her first real experience when it came to relationships, be the one to propose to her and marry her, and be the one to father her kids. He wanted it all, he needed it. But he still had Snoke he needed to deal with. 

“I want that too, at some point...” he whispered and she looked at him, reading him and his intentions like an open book. He could tell she on some level felt the same and that made him smile and her look down.   
His body then took over again and he lifted their hands up, straight to his lips where he gently kissed the back of her hand.   
She looked at him as soon as his lips touched her hand and as he could do nothing but finish what he had started he let it happen. 

“I'm sorry, I don't know what happened... I didn't plan this I swear!” he was rambling an they both knew it, so he stopped and just looked at her over their hands. She was blushing again. He had lost count of how many times he had made her blush over the last few hours, but it was a lot. 

“It is fine, I mean I'm fine. It was just a kiss on the hand, that does not mean anything right?” her voice was a bit shaken and he nodded. 

“It means nothing, it was only a physical reaction, nothing more,” he said, both knowing what a big pile of shit that was. But they also knew that they couldn't be together just yet. So they agreed to lie to each other, hiding something that was in plain sight and just pretend that the elephant in the room wasn't telling them to just be together. 

It was already dinner time and he slowly released her hand, not wanting to. His hand felt so empty without hers and he looked after her as she went out of the door first. She had turned and looked at him with the same look on her face. She wanted to stay right there as well and he just waved at her before she went out of the door. 

After dinner they both sat at the table, but he had taken the spot on her left side, knowing she was gonna study. He grabbed her hand after she had found all her books and she looked over at him, a shy smile on her lips. 

Why did she have to do that? That smile had hit him hard and as he just sat there next to her, he just looked at what she was doing. Admiring how fast and how focused she was, even with him holding her hand.

 

The following day was relatively normal. He had work, she had school, they meet up, but didn't really talk, Amilyn came by, and she got the letter for Leia and a hug from Kylo. That had surprised both Amilyn and Rey, but they had all smiled. Kylo had been called down to Snokes side after dinner and Rey had missed him as she had spend her evening alone, studying.


	12. Another dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey have another dream and she tells Kylo the whole thing. His reaction? Well you'll have to read this chapter to see what happens.

That night she had another dream, as vivid as the last one. It seemed to have been affected by the fact that Kylo had been gone for the night. She was awake and in the room, hoping he would come so she could share the dream with him and he did not let her wait for long. It was only 7 am and he was already there. She smiled at him as he walked over to her on the couch. 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” he asked, a small smile playing on his lips and she shook her head. 

“I just hoped that you would come. I had another dream, and I'm not sure what to make of it, other than it seemed to be from earlier than the fight dream,” she said as he sat down in front of her, looking ready for another story. 

“So, I started with closed eyes, on a table, but not really, it was upright, slightly slanted back and had cuffs that chained my arms to it. As my eyes snapped open, a figure, dressed completely in black was sitting in an Asian squad in front of me. His or your face covered in a black metal mask. I had looked down to access my situation before looking at you, asking you where I was. You answered that I was your guest, which made no sense, as I was chained up, but that aside for now. One thing I noticed was your voice, it sounded weird as it was filtered through the mask.   
I was afraid, yet my mind, and not the girls, was at ease, since I still knew you would never hurt me... There was a bit of talk, mumbles I did not catch and then you said; 'You still wanna kill me,' sounding amused, and I answered; 'That happens when you are being hunted by a creature in a mask,' I was literally barking at you at this point, being angry, scared and unsure where I was. I have no idea where all that fire came from, but it was there. You slowly place your hands at the helmets lock and take it of. Seeing your face took the girls breath away, but you looked more cold than I have ever seen you look in my life. You looked dead inside,” she took a break and reached out for his hands. He grabbed hers and looked at them for a second, before looking into her eyes. She had needed that, the look he had reserved for her, the look that warmed her entire body, lifted her soul and always made her blush. She had needed that after remembering how cold he had looked. Then she looked down, her cheeks flushed, and continued the story. 

“You stood up, placing the helmet down, looking like you ware in control and you ware completely intimidating, yet charming. I don't really know how to describe that... Without your mask, your voice was clear and deep as you spoke; 'You know I can take what ever I want,' You sounded so confident as you said this and then you walked over to my side. You leaning in, closing the distance between us as you looked at my profile. I could feel your breath on my neck, that was how close you ware... You mumbled something more and I felt pressure on my mind, like you wanted to enter. I was yet unable to fight back, so all I could do was let a few angry and hurt tears fall. I don't know where I got he strength from but I slowly started to fight back, telling you to get out of my head. You told me the following; 'Don't be afraid, I feel it to,' before you walked away from my side and right in front of me, reaching your right hand, covered in a black glove, out towards my face, hovering it a short distance from me. I can feel how you try to gain access to my mind and I fight back, slowly unleashing powers I never knew I had as I pushed back. You pushed harder. As this continues for what seem like forever, I slowly lean forward until I push so hard that I end up in your mind. 'You, you are afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader,' I say, knowing every word is true. I sensed a link to something more as you broke of the connection, and I woke up... I have written everything down like last time, but it just seemed so real...” 

 

As she had told him about her dream he was able to image it. Her description was so detailed that he felt as if he was there with her. He was happy that she knew he would never hurt her and suspected that it wasn't only dream her that found him charming. He had gotten worried when she had told him about how dark dream him had been, and he had wanted to hug her, but holding her had seemed to help just fine. This was the second dream she had, with both of them in it and as flattered as he felt, he was worried for what could happen in future dreams, did he end up hurting her? Or did the dream versions of them end up together? All he could do for now was listen and hold her hands. So that was what he was gonna do. 

“It was not real, even if I had those powers I would never do anything like that, not to you, never. But what kind of connection did you sense?” he was curious to hear her theory. She had probably been working on that since she had gotten up, and if he knew her right that might have been at 5 am. As he spoke he let his fingers on both hands part hers and slowly placed his in the space in between hers, intertwining them. She kept her eyes on their hands, and he could see her blush as he had shifted their fingers. He found that beyond adorable and had to work hard on staying focused. 

“I know it might seem crazy, given your name, and your parents names, but I felt as if you ware Leia and Han's son, the grandson of Anakin Skywalker, later known as Darth Vader...” she said, her voice low and he realized what that meant. 

“My grandfather was named Anakin, and my grandmother was called Padmé, and no, it is no joke, I even have a mad uncle Luke. But my grandmother died giving birth to my mom and uncle. They are twins, and when I lived at home we lived with Anakin, Luke and my parents... It was a complete shit show, but we ware all there...” he had never really thought about this, or not recently, but it kinda fit in some weird way. He watched as she looked up at him, her jaw dropped, mouth open and those big hazel eyes starring at him. He tried not to laugh, but a small “huf” escaped him. 

 

“You gotta be kidding me, right? I know your parents, but your mom has a twin? And he is called Luke and your grandparents? NO WAY!” this was Unbelievable, it had to be fake, someone had to have changed names at some point. There was just no way, right? She could tell he was about to explode of laughter and she tried to compose herself. 

“Everything is true, I checked the records with my mom when I was about 6 years old I think and saw the names on the birth certificates. They even had my grandmothers somewhere, so it is true. But I'm not named after Obi Wan, I'm named after my grandmothers older brother Benjamin. He died right before I was born, so mom thought it would be a nice gesture to name me Ben after him,” his explanation made sense and she slowly started to accept the fact that Kylo's entire family was basically named after Star Wars characters.   
But was the guy who was sitting in front of her still Kylo, the cold and reserved gang member or was he Ben, the kind and caring man who she seem to have fallen completely for? 

His phone rang and pulled them both back. He let go of her left hand, to use his right and answered the call. She stayed quirt as he talked, placing her free hand on top of their hands, not wanting to let go. She saw him look at her, and she almost got lost in his eyes again, before he ended the call. 

“I hate this, but Snoke need me at 9, so I gotta leave by then,” he said as he put down his phone. She looked up at his face again, seeing that he wanted to stay as much as she did. 

“How long do you think it is gonna take today?” she asked and he looked down. 

“Anywhere from two to five hours, it depends how many people there is on my route. But at least I'll only have to tolerate Hux today. He'll just be grumpy like always, but he will never talk about you like Snoke did...” She could tell that he was tired already and she moved a bit closer and placed her left hand on his cheek. She had wanted to do this earlier, but had not felt brave enough, but seeing him this exhausted made her wanna help him, and so she reached out to him, cubbing his cheek with her hand. He looked up, and she did not dare put words to the look he send her or what it made her feel, so she simply blushed and looked down at their hands again.

 

When her hand touched his face, his cheek felt like it was on fire, and without thought he looked at her. His eyes said it all, I want you, I need you, I'm gonna make you mine. It took him no more than a few seconds before he realized what he had done and in desperation he made it worse. He let go of her hand, moving closer to her and then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. He felt her burring her face in his chest as he tightened his grip around her, ensuring she was safe and sound there. 

Then his brain started to work again and he wondered what he had done. It was not like he regretted it, not for a second, it was just that he never planed on this. That had been true for the hand holding as well, but this was not just their hands touching, this evolved their entire bodies... When they parted it was bound to get awkward and he hated that. So he did what he could to make it less hard, kept his hands right below her shoulder blades, gently patting her back, as he felt her arms slowly creep below his and around his body. She placed her hands around his shoulder aria as well.

But why did her small body have to fit so perfectly in his arms? Why did she have to have the cutest, most adorable smile, why did her eyes have to be so intelligent and why oh why did her lips have to be so tempting. The list could go on, but he stopped himself there, why had he just thought about her lips? Or was the question why had he not thought about them sooner? Anyway, now he could walk around dreaming of kissing her till one of them just jumped the other, right... This whole thing was, well getting either out of hand or going really well, depending on how you looked at it.   
It was getting out of hand if they ware caught by Snoke, but going well if he could get out of the gang. He hoped they could be together and was now considering starting to date her here, in hiding and then try to get out of the gang. But he knew she would never agree to that so he just stayed where he was. 

The hug was warm and comforting, not unlike the small hugs he had reserved a few days back while writing the letter for his mom. But it felt different in some way, maybe it was because they had grown closer over the past few days? Maybe it was because both almost admitted to their feelings, or maybe it was because his love for her had grown. It was probably a combination of all of them. He did love her more today than he had yesterday and admitting that to him self was something he had never done before. 

He looked at the clock on the wall and growled, it was already 8:30, and they had yet to eat breakfast. He slowly let her go, finding her eyes with his and smiling a sad smile. He wished he'd never had to let her go, and he hoped she could tell. 

 

He had pulled her into the hug and she had no idea how badly she needed that hug. She buried her face in his chest, hiding just how much she was blushing, but she couldn't stop wondering why this hadn't happened sooner.   
She had been around him for nearly a week and she had only ever hugged him to comfort him, but this was different. This was one of those hugs you watch in movies or read about in books. She had nothing to compare it to, but she was sure that this was love and that she needed him, just him and nothing ells.   
She didn't want the hug to end, yet he pulled away with a growl, but the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know, he felt the same as her. 

“Don't be afraid, I feel it to,” she whispered, to make sure he knew how he felt, using the sentence from her dream, but giving it a whole new meaning. Looking at him through her lashes unintentional, she looked down and grabbed his hand, she needed to hold it, even just for a short moment. She felt how the words hit him, and she knew he had felt it to. The intense attraction between them that was based on personality, rather than looks. The felling of needing each other. He was her sun and she was unable to live without him. 

“But what are you gonna do today,” his voice was a whisper as well, as he let her play with his hands. She let her fingertips run from his wrist and down to his fingertips, before he caught her hands in his. She smiled and looked up. 

“I'm gonna go out and get a dress that I can change into a bodycon dress, and I'm gonna drag Rose with me if I can... Then I'm going to start making the dress, so I'll probably be here when you come home,” her voice was still low as she spoke, and he nodded before she felt his eyes shifting from their hands to her face. 

“Good to hear. But you should spend more time with Rose you know, she is a nice girl,” he smiled as he spoke and she looked down not to blush to much. 

“Well, what if I'd rather spend time here with you?” she asked still looking down, blushing again. 

“I'll be here, always, but forming a friendship with Rose might be a great plan if anything ever happens to me,” he whispered and she looked up, catching his eyes with hers. 

“I do already talk with Rose every night after I have been here, and text her in school. But I can spend more time with her, if you promise me to be careful! I don't wanna see you hurt again,” the desperation in her voice was clear and he reached out to her, pushing a strand of hair behind hair ear.

“I will be careful, I promise. Now, lets get some breakfast,” he pulled her up with him, and then hugged her briefly, before he lead her to the door. 

“I'll see you in a few hours, don't get into any trouble okay, and stay with Rose if you can,” he said and patted her head, making her smile up at him, before he left the room. 

As she stood there, all alone, she felt empty again. He had just left and she was already like this... She needed him more than he knew. She had always had issues with abandonment... Cause well, she was an orphan and never had a stable relationship with Anyone in her life. Everyone was temporary, no one stayed forever. But she wanted Ben, not Kylo, she wanted him to be the one person that would never leave her. It scared her, the feelings she got when she was with him, the need she had for him and how easily he could make her want things she had never thought about.   
She had never thought about holding hands with anyone, just for the sake of feeling the warmth of a hand. Never thought she would need a hug like she did today and here she was, wanting him to come back so she could get lost in his arms again.   
She bites her lip as she thinks about what her first kiss is gonna be like. She wanted, no needed it to be him, hoped he would kiss her, just once, that was all she needed. 

She slowly walked downstairs and sat with Rose and Finn as she usually did, and both agreed to come with her on her small adventure to the local second hand stores.


	13. Peanut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets the dress, Finn gives her a pet name and more cute Reylo moments.

Kylo was out helping Hux for a few hours and the ginger man child annoyed him. Praising Snoke, talking or rather bragging about how many girls he had banged Kylo just tried to ignore him. The amount of details the read head went into almost made him gag and he definitely needed a shower to wash that experience of when he came home. He nearly had to beat up a couple of people and hit a few others, but after five hours he was done and went straight home, where some bimbo tried to hit on him. He was so done at this time that he just looked at her. 

“Fuck of!” he had to hold himself back from saying anything else but he was just so done. The girl just smiled at him, batting her eyelashes. 

“No, fuck me,” she tried and he nearly lost it. 

“If you don't move right now, then I'm gonna kill you!” Something must have clicked for her, because she moved, looking frightened and he could finally go take that shower he wanted so badly. It didn't bother him to scare of girls like that. She wanted something from him that he wasn't interested in giving. 

It wasn't like he had never done it before, but it just never meant anything to him, and he usually just gave in to some of these bimboes requests and got it over with. But ever since he had meet Rey he wanted, no needed a deeper connection. The kind of connection he had with her. Something more than just physical attraction. He needed to feel like they ware both in it for more. 

He had never been one for relationships, never had one, and never thought about entering in to any. But with Rey he felt like she was the one to change it. She was so smart and strong, and she cared about him, he knew that much. And he loved her, she was all he thought about lately. Loved everything about her, her smile and laugther as well as her worried looks and her anger... He thought more as he showered and then walked up to find her seam ripping a dress.

 

While Kylo had been working she had been on a small adventure with Rose and Finn. They had walked straight after eating breakfast and had arrived right when the store had opened. Laughing along the way, Rey was faking it a bit, trying to keep up her mood, knowing Kylo might get hurt while he worked. 

Rose had noticed this and she had whispered something to Finn who had nodded. So as soon as they walked in he found a granny dress and held it high, catching the attention of Rey. 

“What do you think peanut?” he called out and Rey just looked confused, before Finn held it to his body and she started to laugh. It got so bad that she got the hiccups and had tears running down her cheeks. She even had to find a chair to just try and get back to breathing normally. 

“Why?” was all she could say, she had no more air in her lungs for any additional words and Rose just smiled at her, while Finn laughed. 

“You looked a bit down and we wanted to try and cheer you up,” Rose said and Rey nodded as she regained her composer. 

“I'm just trying to do what I have been instructed to do by Ben, but it is hard to be seperated from him at this point. But I'll tell you both all about it after we have found a dress. Can you help me?” She asked and the two others nodded before she described what she was looking for, and then they all got to work. 

They found a few dresses that fitted the description and a few extra pieces that they just wanted for them self, before Rey chose a black dress. It was at least 5 sizes to big and had sleeves and was floor length, but the material was stretchy and not to thin and it had a long zipper that was in great conditions so it was perfect for what she needed it for. After they got that dress they played a bit more in the second hand store before walking to a nearby cafe. They ordered something to drink before they started to talk. 

 

“I have never really talked to anyone about this, but I have always had this issue... I never make lasting bonds, because I know everyone is gonna abandon me at some point... Nothing has ever lasted in my life, but I want this thing with Ben to last and it scares me...” Rey started and Rose sipped her green tea, while Finn just looked at the girl in front of him. Rose had explained what was happening and a bit of the background.   
She seemed genuinely scared of something most people took for granted, and he now understood why Rose wanted to help her room mate this much. This girl needed a bit of happiness in her life and he for one, would try and help her in any way he could. 

Finn then started to interrogate Rey, to get all the details. How they had meet, how he had reacted and what had happened then. Rose let him do this, hoping he had a plan and he did. He went over some of the facts with Rey again to make sure he had understood her right before he took a large sip of his coco. 

“The reason I asked this much is to give you my opinion as a guy and I only have one thing to say. That man loves you more than you know. Do you know how hard it is to hold back for a guy his age? That and the way he is always gentle with you tells me that he is gonna fight for you and only you. And I bet he is gonna hug you or hold your hand as soon as you see him again,” a case of first love was what Love doctor Finn hand found and he could tell that Rey felt the same as Ben. It was so obvious when she spoke of him. 

Lucky for them they ware both good actors when they ware with others and they totally ignored each other. Finn would never have noticed the connection if he hadn't fallen for Rose. When it came to Rose he was never discrete, he had told her that he wanted to make her his the day after he meet her and they had slowly started to hold hands and spend most of their time together, just like Ben and Rey... Or was it Rey and Kylo... Reylo?

“You guys I have a ship name for you and Ben! Reylo!” he got a bit exited as he said that looking at the two girls. Rose smiled and Rey just lifted an eyebrow. 

“Wait, Rey, don't you know what a ship name is?” Finn looked like he had lost his mind as Rey just shook her head. 

“A ship name is like if you thought Rose and me looked cute together and then you take our names; Finn and Rose and mash them together. Finnrose. Or Rey and Kylo. ReyKylo, Reylo, you see?” he tried to explain the best he could and saw Rey slowly getting it. 

“So you want me and Ben to get together?” she asked and he smiled, winking. 

“Yes, my peanut needs love,” he said and smile as both of the girls just looks at him. 

“What?” he asked and the girls shook their heads. 

“That is the second time you have called me peanut, is it a pet name?” Rey looked at him and he nodded. 

“Yes, Rose is my flower and you are my peanut. I always find pet names for the people I like. Ben can be bean, because he is a nice bean,” he explains and Rey starts to laugh. 

“Okay, I kinda like that,” she admitted and Finn winked at her again. 

 

They had then walked home and had arrived just in time for lunch. After that Rey had gotten her sewing machine and had walked up to the room, setting it up at a table before she had done her homework. She stated to seam rip right before Kylo walked in with damp hair. She looked up at him. He was as handsome as ever, his long black hair slightly curled as it air dried. But he looked exhausted and she got worried, so she put down her work. 

“What happened?” she asked as she walked over to him and he just looked at her. 

“Nothing,” he answered but he she could tell something was up and she took his hand in hers. 

“Please just talk to me,” her voice was a low whisper and he looked down at her, mesmerized by her eyes again, compelled to tell the truth by her hazel orbs. 

 

“Hux wouldn't shut up the whole day and then some random slut hit on me when I came home...” he whispered back and then he saw her eyes turn darker, like her expression. Was she jealous? This was something new and unexpected, but she did look kinda hot... Where is my cold shower when I need one, he thought. Taking a few deep breaths he pulled her closer and let her into his arms. 

“No need to worry. I didn't have to hurt many today, and nothing permanent. And I even let the girl leave after threatening her,” he said in a low voice, his lips close to her ear. He could feel her shiver in his arms, but also feel so much lighter. 

He had been so pissed after those hours with Hux and then the girl... But a simple hug from Rey cured his anger completely and that just made him want her even more. Wanting to turn her from his secret friend into his public girlfriend. But it had to wait for a short while. He slowly released her and looked over at what she had been doing when he had arrive. 

“So you found a dress,” he commented and she nodded, her cheeks slightly red from blushing. They walk over to the table together and he looks at it for a moment. 

“You do know it is way to big for you right,” looking at her small and slim physic and she smiles. 

“It allows me to have more fabric to work with. When it comes to changing clothes completely it is all about having as much fabric as possible, so you have more options with what you can make. And this dress even had sleeves and a long zipper in the side seam I can reuse,” she was exited as she showed him what sh was planing and that made him smile. She noticed and smiled back, melting his heart further. He walked away, allowing her to sit down and work on her dress while he found the bookmark he was making for her and slowly finished it. 

Both worked side by side for a few hours and then walked down to have dinner. The silence had been nice and the mood in the room had been light and it stayed like that when they met up again. She made a pattern as he placed the finished book mark on her fabric and when she reached for her fabric she found it. She looked up at him and he smiled. Watching her look at every detail made him proud. The flower pattern was intricate and he saw her brushing her fingertips over it, feeling the smooth texture of the wood. 

“Thank you,” she said as she stood up and surprised him with a hug. He was still sitting when she had just walked straight into his arms and had wrapped her arms around him. He quickly hugged her back and then let her go. 

“You never have to thank me,” he looked her into her eyes and got lost. 

 

His eyes pulled her in again. Why did he have to have such beautiful eyes and why was she getting sucked in when all he did was looking at her. She was lost and didn't notice she was holding her breath before her lungs started to hurt. She took a deep breath and he smiled as he had noticed. She then blushed, but his eyes still kept her right where she was. There was no escaping them and to be frank, she didn't wanna look away. She loved the man behind the eyes so much she was going crazy. 

After another minute or two he broke the eye contact and she blushed and turned back to what she was doing drawing the dress pattern on to the fabric before she started to cut the fabric. She could feel his eyes following her every move and blushed even more, relieved that she was facing the opposite way. 

She pinned the fabric while he had started working on more bookmarks and that was how that day ended. Them both working till midnight. They did a hug before she left first and he locked up.


	14. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stories of the past is uncovered!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is on the short side, I know. But I have been busy today and well, need sleep, so that is the reasons. I hope you like it!

The next morning both got up early and breakfast at the same time. Rey spotted Kylo as she arrived and he noticed her as she took her usual spot, her back facing him. He slowed down enough for her to catch up and they went up with their trash at the same time. 

He accidentally bumped into her and she had to hold back a smile and a giggle as he did. There was nearly no one down to eat, but they still had to be careful, so she gave him a death glare and barked that he should watch where he was going, before she stormed out, finding a corner where she laughed for a minute. 

She then grabbed her bag and went up to the room, noticing Kylo already sitting at the table. 

“What was that about?” she asked and started to laugh again. 

“Well, we never interact outside of that door, so I thought this was one of the only ways for us to do it, without anyone noticing,” his explanation was bad, like really bad, but what could she do about it other than laugh. 

“You know, if you wanna get us killed, I'd rather it be over a hug, than over you just bumping into me,” she had dropped her bag on the table and was standing in reach of him, being half serious when she spoke, wanting to see his reaction. 

 

He knew she was right, it had been dangerous and even that could make Snoke question his loyalty... I shouldn't have done that, it might have made someone suspicious... He looked at her, and then reached out for her, turning in his seat so he was facing her as he pulled her into his arms and placed his chin on her shoulder. 

“If we are ever getting discovered I promise to be by your side till the end,” he hadn't thought about this before, but it was true. He was not gonna leave her, not now, not ever. He felt her hands wrap around him and he managed to pull her in a bit more. Feeling her close and safe was all he needed. It woke him right up, gave him the energy he needed to work on bookmarks the whole day. She had liked the first one so much that he had decided to make a few more for her, all with different floral motives.

He slowly released her and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear before he turned to his work. He sneaked a few peaks at her as she found her books and studied. He would look over at her and caught her looking back more than once. 

They sat like this till it was lunch time. Rey left first and was followed by Kylo five minutes later. Snoke had heard about the small clash earlier from a few of the kids, but luckily no one saw Rey laugh after the incident. 

“So you bumped into Rey this morning, what happened,” Snoke was clearly not happy about it, but it appeared that he didn't know it had been done deliberately. 

“She was there, I was there, I didn't see her and then she yelled at me a bit, that was all,” Kylo explained and Snoke send him a look. 

“Well, be careful, she is still my hoe, even if she doesn't know it yet,” as Snoke spoke, Kylo lost his appetite and just sat and poked his food till he could escape. 

 

Rose had noticed Kylo hadn't been eating enough and whispered it to Rey who finished up in a few minutes and then talked to the kitchen staff, making them give her a small packed lunch for her friend. She thanked them and went up to the room. She had been there for a few minutes before he arrived. He looked less than happy and as he sat down next to her she turned to him and took his hand in hers and started to let her fingers trace the veins on the back of his hand. She looked down as she did, afraid of what she would see if she dared to look into his eyes. But curiosity got to her and as she looked at him through her lashes. 

She thought she was ready. She wasn't! The amount of adoration in his eyes took her breath away and the love made her heart skip a beat. She was so close to loosing it and just kiss him, but she knew she couldn't and so she just jumped down from her chair and took the last step over to his arms. 

He was sitting with open legs as always, making it easy for her to bury her face in his shirt. She wanted him to hold onto her and never let go. She needed him like others needed air or water. But at least being in his arms made her fell better, she was no where completely fine yet, but she was getting there, slowly. 

His strong arms wrapped around her small figure and she could feel just how much larger he was compared to her, he was huge. She had known that from the first day she saw him, but it didn't mean she had ever gotten used to it. It had only been a day since he had embraced her for the first time and she had already fallen deeper than she had ever done before. She was hopelessly in love with him and that was the truth. They stayed like this for a while, before he let go of her and she sat down again, she was done studying and wanted to talk to him... To know more about him... 

“Do you have anything you truly hate?” she asked and he looked at her. She could tell he was thinking and then he opened his mouth. 

 

“Snoke, my family, mom excluded and well, Halloween,” he answer and look down. The memories comes rushing back and for the first time ever he want to share it. He look into her eyes and then start. 

“It had been weekend, that weekend, the weekend mom showed me Star wars for the first time. It had been such a great Saturday, perfect even. It had just made me smile so much, made me laugh and cry. We had worked on the costume the whole day Sunday, my Han costume. Making it out of stuff from second hand stores and then at 3 pm my father had come home, drunk, with my uncle. Mom had locked me in my room as she took a beating that lasted hours. They started out yelling at her for a while, before they started to hit her and kick her. I heard everything and was crying for her in my room... I was only a kid and I could not help my mom, not safe her... She finally unlocked the door at 6 pm and fell inside. She couldn't even stand and I dragged her to my bed, crying, before I locked the door from the inside and tried to help her... I slept on the floor that night so I wouldn't bump into my mom and hurt her any further... The worst thing was that she went to work the next day...ever since that Sunday I have hated Halloween with a burning passion,” he somehow felt lighter after opening up about something he had never told a soul. He felt vulnerable, but it felt good somehow, to bare it all to her, to let her see the real him. To let Rey see him, the real him, Ben and not Kylo. 

He could tell she had felt it, felt his words and while he spoke she had reached out for his hands again. She was now looking down at their hands. Then he spotted it, the tears. She was crying and he pulled his right hand away from her hands before he started to dry her tears. She looked up, through her lashes again and it took his breath away. Her hazel eyes filled with tears... 

“I wanna tell you something too,” she whispered, her voice affected by the tears. He nodded and she continued, tears still streaming down her face. 

“Well, I have been living in the system since I was born... And it was never easy, for every good place there was ten bad places... And there was this place I arrived after we lived together... There was this kid, he was 13 and I was nearly 7 at that time... He tried to assault me a few times... I only escaped because I used the fighting techniques you taught me...” he had to stop her right there, and he did it by moving closer so their knees touched. 

“I'm gonna kill that guy if I ever meet him!” he was furious, how could that guy think it was okay to hurt His girl. And yes she was His. There was no reason to deny it anymore, at least not to himself. He was in love and that was fact. He saw her shake her head and he just looked at her and she spoke again, this time in a soft, gentle voice. 

“I have always had problems... the worst problem being abandonment issues... Everyone just always leave me... No one stays... And that makes me hurt so much... I have cried for days, weeks, years and I have always feared that I would end up alone... Til I meet...” he could tell that she couldn't finish the sentence and he looked at her as she looked down, a soft smile on his lips. 

“Till you meet me. Don't be afraid, I feel it to, I feel it to much sometimes,” he admitted as he held her hands gently in his. He never knew she had issues, but it made sense, since she had been alone for so long. 

 

“But I'll never leave again, or at least never leave for good, that is something I wanna promise you,” he said and she started to cry again. Feeling him stand up and closing the distance between them as he pulled her up so she was standing in his arms, he lifted her weight of he legs and she felt like she was floating as her tears just kept coming. Being right here was all she needed and she was greatful for his little confession, at least she was not the only one who felt it to much. 

She stood in his arms till her tears had stopped falling and then she pointed out the food, he was greatful for it and ate it, finally hungry after the few bites he had with Snoke. While he was eating she started to sew a few pieces of fabric together for the dress and the had a bit of a back and forth, taking lighter subjects like school and her friends. She told him of the pet names Finn had given them and he laughed for a full five minutes after hearing his was Bean.


	15. Monday afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hugs, dreams, a letter and more confessions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really goes out to my sister Sarah! Love you sis and thank you for the all the help over the past week! Love you!

That evening was one of the most quirt they have had to date, but as they worked side by side they had never felt more connected. As evening turned to night Rey knew she had to leave, she had school the next morning and she needed the sleep. 

As she stood up she felt his eyes on her and she smiled. Feeling him get up next to her she didn't really know what to do and was happy when he hugged her first. Her arms found their place around his waist as her face rested against his chest. This was the man she needed and she couldn't help but whisper; 

“Ben,” 

He must have heard her, because his grip tightened just a bit around her and she felt her heart trying to explode. He then released her and just looked down at her with the most tender look in his eyes. 

“Sleep well ewok, I'll have to work tomorrow, but please don't worry to much,” he whispered back and she got worried, her worry wrinkle showing.

Not having any of it, he took his right hand and let it smooth out the frown lines. 

“I'm a big boy, I can take care of my self, promise,” he smiled at her and she took a deep breath before she nodded.

“Sleep well, and if you get in trouble, please call me. I need you to be fine,” she looked at him one final time as he gave her a simple nod and then she left. 

As she walked down to her room she smiled slightly and thought about everything that had happened that day. She had shared her biggest fear with someone and he had been so sweet. Her heart beat fast as she arrived at her room and Rose looked up at her as she went over to her bed. She changed into her PJ before she saw Rose had made space for her in her bed and Rey laid down next to her best friend, before they stated to whisper about Ben and Finn. They ware both to exited to fall asleep and continued to talk for nearly an hour before they fell asleep together. 

That night Rey had another dream and as soon as she woke she wrote it down, placing it in her new dream file. 

School was school, but she was now becoming the best in class. She knew all the answers and as much as the other kids despised her, the teachers loved her and that was really all she needed. When she came home she meet Amilyn and was handed a letter for Ben along with a time and place for her meeting Leia. She was greatful and told Amilyn to send her love and thanks back to Leia. The older woman smiled at the younger and let the kid run up to meet up with her Ben Solo. 

Up in the room Rey sat down on the couch and started on her homework. She had to read a book, that she already had read, but since she liked it she did it again. The new dream was laying on the table next to the letter as she was waiting for that one man. 

He arrived an hour later, looking exhausted again, having a few new bruises on his hands. She stood up as he walked in and noticed his hands, making her come over and take them in hers, to get a better look at them. 

“Told you to be careful,” she said, her voice as soft as her touch, as she blew on the cuts, before gently pulling him over and taking out her bandage kit. She cleaned all the small wounds and then let go of his hands. 

“How was school,” he asked and she smiled at him. 

“Same as always, nothing new. Kids hate me, teachers loves me and I just work hard. But I had another dream...” she answers and they walk to the couch together. She slides her dream over to him and he starts to read. 

 

“She was at the door of the elevator, handcuffed, while he was standing in the far left corner. She then speaks up.   
'You don't have to have to do this,' she turns to face him. 'I feel the conflict in you, it's tearing you apart, Ben.' By the sound of his name he looked at her with gentle eyes. She moves closer as she speaks.   
'You will not bow before Snoke! You'll turn,' the last bit was hopeful as she looked at his lips, before looking into his eyes.   
'I'll help you,' she had said, almost begged. 

The dream had gotten blurry as he had answered, but she had known what he had said had not been what she wanted to hear, since she had slowly backed away, and then the elevator door had opened, revealing the thrown room.

But the tension between them had been so strong, the attraction nearly undeniable as they had been standing face to face. They way she had looked at him and the way he had looked back at her. It had been so intense,” 

As he read it he wasn't surprised that the bad guy was Snoke, and he he smiled as dream her tried to save him. This dream must fit in right before the first dream she had last week. The dream of the fight in the thrown room.

“I don't know what dream me said, but I can tell you what my reaction to those words would be if you would like to hear,” he looked at her and her smile was enough encouragement for him to continue. He takes her hands in his as he look down at how well they fit together. 

“I know I don't have to be in the gang, and I'm trying to find a way out. It's indeed tearing me apart that I have been unsuccessful so fare. I have to bend before Snoke right now, but it won't be for long. I promise that, so you just stay safe, till I can be by your side, that is all the help I need,” Loving her so much that he didn't really care about hiding it anymore. She was already aware of his affections so this would probably not change anything. He knew what he needed to do before he could make her his and he worked on it. He had been gathering informations on Snoke and Hux, gathering evidence of their involvement in the gang activities without them noticing. He knew it was gonna be hard, but a plan had started to form. Gather enough dirt on those bastards and then he might be able to cut a deal with the DA. But there was no way he was gonna tell her about it, because then she would get involved and possible involve Rose and if that happened he might not be able to protect them all. 

As he looked up at her he knew she knew how he felt, and he could see his heart reflected in her eyes. But like him she knew they had to wait. Her gaze was somewhat sad and he got up, only to walk over behind her and sit, so he could pull her into his arms. 

“I noticed you ware reading when I arrived, please continue,” he said and she leaned into his chest as she picked up her book and his letter. 

“A new letter from your mom,” she said and he took it, placing a hand around her waist, as she was now sitting right in front of him, having her this close was a bit thrilling, yet he knew he was in control and with her help he opened the letter. 

“Please feel free to read along,” he said as he held the letter in front of her her face, resting his chin on her head. He felt a nod and smiled as he looked at the letter. 

'Ben, my son, 

I'm so happy to hear that you are dong fine and that you have found someone you love. From the story you just told me I can tell just how deeply you care about Rey and I truly hope you two are gonna end up together. I'm gonna meet up with her tomorrow and can't really wait to see her for myself. I'm sure I'll love her as well. 

For that wedding part, if it ever gets legal I would love for you to be the one giving me away, since you are the only family I have left. 

I have been talking to a lawyer and he have suggested that you turn on your gang leader and bring evidence to the police. That seem to be the only way, but gathering that evidence could be dangerous and I urge you to be careful, if not for your self, then for Rey and I. If she likes you just half as much as you like her then she would be worried if she knew you took those kind of risks. 

Dear son of mine, I know I failed you, but your letters gives me hope that I did what I could. Even if I don't think it was enough I'm happy that you have some good memories from your childhood. Hopefully we will get to share more days in the future. 

As for the room you asked about it is here and it is yours and if you want Rey's as well. I wouldn't wanna split up a potential young couple just by being old-fashion. 

But I think I might have to end the letter here my sweet boy, I have work and lawyers I need to talk to, to make sure you get represented by the best if you follow the plan suggested. 

I love you more than life. 

Stay safe my son, and may the force be with you, always!  
Love Mom.'

“What did you write about me last time?” she nearly kicked her self for asking and well, didn't expect an answer, but as he put down the letter she felt his hot breath on her neck, giving her chills.

“I just wrote how I feel about you, nothing more, nothing less,” she couldn't see his face and this made it even worse, so she was blushing more than ever. He had wrote he loved her to his mom... That was not something she had expected. 

She already knew he loved her and that warmed her heart, but the fact that he had gone this fare, now she really had to impress his mom and make sure she liked her. The pressure was on, yet his arm around her made her feel like she could do it. They ware closer than close, more than friends, not yet lovers, but soulmates? That sounded about right. 

She needed him and he clearly wanted her, but that plan Leia had suggested was dangerous.

“So are you gonna follow your mothers suggestion and find evidence on Snoke and Hux?” she asked and hoped he had another plan, but as he fell silent she turned her head and saw he was looking down to one side, away from her. She turned more in his arms, to better look at him. 

“You have already started to gather evidence... Are you being careful? Do you need any he,” she didn't get any longer before he looked at her with a stern look. 

“I won't allow you to help, you need to stay right here, safe and sound. That is the only thing that is keeping me sane at the moment. Knowing you are safe and that I can be here with you, so don't even think about doing anything!” his words took her by surprise, even if they shouldn't. He really cared this much about her, truly loved her this much? Was that even possible? 

She rested her head against the crook of his neck and he placed his cheek on her head as his arms wrapped around her. She felt safe and whole for the time being, this was the one place she knew she belonged, in his arms.   
And even if he had to do something dangerous she knew he was strong enough to be able to handle it, he had to be and she had to believe in him. 

 

“Just be careful, and don't take unnecessary risks, please,” she pleaded as she hid her face. He was still in control but barely. He hated he had to do this to her. Hated it so much. He loved her and yet all he could do was this, holding her close. He wanted to tell her everything, to give her the world, yet all he had to offer at the moment was the time they had spend here in this place. He felt so undeserving of her and her worries. He was a bad man, and yet with her he wanted nothing more than to be good, he wanted to show her just how good he could be, and that meant that he needed to gather the evidence fast, so he could be with her. 

They sat like that for a while longer as he thought of a few places he needed to look for evidence and then it was dinner time. Reluctantly he released her and then helped her up. A quick look was exchanged before she walked first. She was still worried. 

As he ate he asked a few innocent questions to the other gang members and after dinner he went and got more evidence before returning to the room for the night, he was going to sleep there again. 

As he walked in he spotted her and waved her over as he walked over to a closet on the wall next to the windows. He opened the door and got out a box, opening it. 

“If, and only if, I get busted this is the evidence I have gathered so fare. Now at least you can go to the police if anything happens to me, and then you'll be free from Snoke and Hux,” as he said that he reserve a elbow in his ribs, and not a gentle one at that. He looks down to see Rey, tears in her eyes. 

“Don't you dare get your self killed Ben Solo, or I swear, I'm gonna go straight to hell and bring you back,” she was pissed and to be frank, hurt. He knew she wanted him to be safe and he knew she couldn't do anything, but him talking like that was just to much and he understood that so he hugged her and let her calm down again. 

“I'll try my best, but I just wanted you to know, just in case. Rather safe than sorry. But no way am I getting killed, not when I have you,” he said as he lifted most of her weight as she stood in his arms. It helped him feel grounded.


	16. Night toughs and morning coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter that dives into Ben's mind more.

Chapter 16.

Feeling her feet lifting of the ground she just let herself melt into his arms and let his words sink in. 

“You do have me, never doubt that,” she whispered as she held on to him with all her might. She loved this fool and that was the truth. She loved the feeling of his arms around her and wanted to stay like this, but he slowly put her down. 

She looked up at him and then had to look down, blushing. She must have pushed some new buttons because the hunger in his eyes had been so strong. She felt the same as him and if she had looked into his eyes for another second she would have caved in to her emotions, to her hunger. But she couldn't, not yet. 

She felt it as he took a few deep breaths as she was still in his arms, and he looked down at her again, regaining his control. 

“Since you are going to meet my mom tomorrow, can you tell her that I love her and what the plan is? You basically know as much as I do at this point,” he asked and she nod as she looked up into his eyes. 

“I'll do that, anything else?” she smiled up at him and it looked like he was gonna lean down, so she looked down. 

This was getting out of hand, but she didn't want to pull away either, his arms was heaven. She would rather run the risk of this getting even more dangerous than it already was than miss his hugs and that was the truth. 

 

He had nearly messed up, starting to lean down, but she had turned her face away and even if he was hurt he knew it was his fault. He knew the rules, she was his, but not completely, at least not until he was free from the gang. So he just hugged her a bit more before spotting the time. 

“You need to go to bed, you have school tomorrow. I'll be here when you come home and if you need me. I don't have work tomorrow so just call me if you want to, okay,” he hated that he had to let go of her, but he had to. His arms loosed the grip, not letting go yet. He felt her arms remain around him and he pulled her in for a tight hug before he made her let go. 

“You really need to go. If you don't I don't know what will happen. I'll see you when you leave for school,” he said and smiled at her. He heard her sigh as she left him standing alone in the corner and he waited as she got her things before he walked over to her side as she reached the door.

She couldn't leave, not yet, he needed her, wanted at least a last hug before she left. So he stood behind her and felt her slowly turn around as he had placed his right hand on the door frame. She looked up through her lashes and all he could do was look at her, at how incredible she was. But he couldn't let him self get carried away, so he just wrapped his left arm around her and pulling her into his arms. 

“Sleep well, and be careful. I will see you when you leave tomorrow,” he kept the hug short but sweet and then opened the door for her as he smiled at her. She smiled back, waving as she left and he closed the door and locked it before leaning against it and letting his back slide down the door as he sat down. 

He missed her already. Was this what his life had become? Longing for her, missing her, wanting her. He had been so close to kissing the top of her head, so close, but he had remained in control for the moment. He needed to get better at this, but he shouldn't have hugged her in the first place, or had given her a key, but did he really regret any of it? 

No, never. He was happy for the first time in years and it was all because of this one girl, this girl he had meet 10 years ago and had protected then like he did now. Someone who relied on him and the only person he wanted to rely on. 

He knew he needed to be careful with her after she had shared her abandonment issues with him. He needed to make sure not to hurt her and to keep her faith in him up. He had no other options. He was going in and getting more evidence tomorrow and then he was gonna write a few letters, just in case he was discovered. He needed her to hear how much he loved her and he needed to be able to say good bye to both her and his mother. And Rose needed a letter as well. If he was gone then Rey would need her more than ever and he knew that. 

Getting up he found his blankets and went down to the bathroom at the end of the hall, washing up and getting ready to sleep. As he walked back a dangerous thought passed his mind. 

'What would it feel like to sleep next to her?' the question was innocent, yet dangerous. He couldn't even kiss her yet and his poor heart could hardly keep up with his mind. He got back into the room and sat down on the couch, thinking about her again. Her weight that he had felt today when he had lifted her, spread out over his right side, her face in the crook of his neck, her breath on his neck... 

Nope, he couldn't fall asleep, no way in hell. 

He got up and got dressed before he pulled a black hoodie over his head and left the room. As a part of the gang I had access to our safe houses and as the pro I was no one noticed who it was that came in that late. I went for the office, having a black face mask ready and placed it over my mouth as I walked in, hunched slightly over to appear smaller, knowing where the cameras was hidden and avoiding them as much as he could as he moved around getting papers, documents on them all. He didn't exclude anything just because it had his name on it. 

As he found evidence he copied it and left the copy taking the original with him in a small black bag. An hour later he was done with this place and he went out of the window, climbing down the side of the building rather than risk getting caught. He had erased the tapes from the surveillance, covering his tracks as best as he could, erasing the memory on the printer. 

He walks the long way home and when he arrives back it is nearly 3 am. Collapsing on the couch after locking the door he falls asleep for the night. 

He wakes up a few hours later, smelling coffee and feeling someone in the room. Sitting up way to fast he looks around disoriented and sees her, Rey, right in front of him, holding a mug of coffee. A cup of tea placed on the table as she looks at him with big doe eyes. 

Without thinking he reach out for her, pulling her down onto his lap, wrapping his right arm all the way around her waist as his left hand rested in her lap and he let his forehead find rest on her shoulder. He had closed his eyes, but could feel her relax in his arms. He felt her turn slightly in his arms, so she was facing him. His head still resting on her, but now leaning on the crook of her neck.

"Good morning," she said as he just inhaled her scent.


	17. Almost there and yet so fare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another dream, and a bit of us time.

She was right, it was a good morning. Having her and coffee after a long night of working was all he needed. He just continued to take a few deep breaths and looked at her when he was ready. 

“Hey, you are up early, what happened?” as he spoke he took the coffee and took a huge sip. She just looked at him before looking down. 

 

He placed the cup on the table before he pulled her down and into his arms. Breathing against her shoulder feeling her closer than ever, this was what he needed. The worry of the night had been forgotten and now it was just them. He relaxed and felt her do the same. 

 

His hot breath against her shoulder made her heart act up, but she didn't care. She chewed on her lip as she tried to get her heart under control and then pulled another piece of paper with a dream on it out of her pocket. He looked down at it before he rested his forehead against her shoulder. 

“Tell me what this dream was about,” he whispered and she closed her eyes for just a second to gather her thoughts. 

“I think this might be the first meeting... I mean, you might not, but it just seem like they know nothing about each other at this point. 

Dream me was in a forest, with a droid. A small circular droid with a small head. He was running with her or me. I was shooting after stormtrooper's dressed in uniforms I have never seen before. They ware still white, but the design was unlike anything I had seen before,” she shows a small sketch of a helmet she had done and he nod against her shoulder, captivated by her story.

“I had a blaster, an old and small model that I could barely fire... running with the droid, I kneel down and send him away... he had something important, a piece of a map of some sort. As he left a tall man, covered in all black came after me. The mask was reminding me of Vader's a bit, but not really... It must have been you...” 

She could feel his arms tighten around her as she spoke of the tall man in black. Trying not to get to distracted she looked at her paper and gathered her thoughts again. 

“You had a lightsaber ready, the same read cross guard lightsaber as before and moved forward, closing the distance between us... she was terrified, and it affected me, even if I knew he wouldn't hurt us... I just knew if he was just a bit like you, then he would never harm her, but her body moved back as she kept on shooting at you... but you deflected every shot with the lightsaber... she was so scared,” remembering the feelings she tremor lightly and felt him move a bit, so he could watch her face. 

“I'm right here and you know that I won't allow anyone to touch you, not even my self. I'm gonna keep you safe, now and as long as you want,” he whispered and she felt shivers run down her spine over the words. She had to close her eyes to try and keep in her tears that threatened to run down her cheeks. 

He had no idea... she wanted his touch, but she couldn't ask for that, not now, not yet, but she could ask for his protection, right? That was okay, right? She could as for as much? 

“Just stay with me, right... I can't lose you as well...” she whispered back and felt his strong arms pulling her closer to his chest, moving her to his lap. 

 

Holding onto her she felt so small and scared. What could he do? What did he have to offer her? She already had everything he was and held his heart in her hands. 

“I'll do everything in my power to stay with you, and even if I'm not here in person, know that my heart is with you...” had he just confessed again? Yes, yes he had. Was he regretting it? Not the least. 

Feeling her cheek rest against his chest he relaxed and waited for her to say something. 

“You had taken me into a force hold, I couldn't move... I was so scared... your voice was modified by the mask as you spoke.   
'The girl I have heard so much about,' you said before you walked closer and asked something... you are standing behind me when the lightsaber suddenly is crackling next to my face... I feel a pressure on my mind as you look for informations, invading my head... 

Then some stormtroopers interrupt. I can't move as you talk to them... you then turn back to me and and says 'We have what we need,' before I black out... I can feel strong arms catch me as I fall and the same arms lifting me, holding me close as they carry me of to God knows where... Yet me, me knew that dream me was safe...” she whispered and he just slowly nodded. 

“No matter how different that man in your dreams act, know that I'll always be by your side,” he wanted to... NO! STOP! I can't kiss her... no way in hell, nah ah! No can do! That would change to much! We can't afford that now... not with us being this close... Not when I was this close to having enough evidence on Snoke and Hux... Deep breaths, deep breaths. A few weeks or months was nothing compared to spending a lifetime with her. And there would be a lifetime with her, he was sure of that... Looking at her in his arms, so small and he was brought back to when they ware kids, how she had depended on him, how he had been her support. Now he was more than that. He was more than the older guy defending the younger girl. He was a man trying to keep the woman he loved safe. 

 

Looking up into his eyes she wanted nothing more than to stay with him for the rest of the day, but she knew she had school and that was... well school... she sighed and let her self feel his warmth for a few more minutes before she had to move. 

Slowly getting out of his arms she felt his hand in hers. 

“I have to go to school...” she knew she looked miserable and he hugged her again, before leading her over to the door. 

“I'll be right here when you come home, promise!” he said as he unlocked the door and reluctantly let go of her hand. 

I love you, her heart was screaming those three words out to him as she looked at him before exiting and closing the door behind her.


	18. A sneaky little plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Leia talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have be to busy lately, but next week the chapter should be back to normal length!

She stood outside the door for a few minutes just to gather her thoughts before she moved. Walking to school was boring... school was boring... the bullies was boring... 

She had gotten the name and address of the cafe she was meeting Leia at from Amilyn and walked over to the spot. It was a cute cafe, with a whole wall full of books. A sign made it clear that if you brought a book to leave you could take one of the other books with you... That was kinda nice. 

She walked in and looked around when an elder woman came in. The lady spotted her and walked over. 

“Are you Rey?” she asked, a gentle voice and Rey nodded, smiling at Leia. The older woman take Reys hand and then gently drag her to a table. 

“I have a million questions, but I have to ask, how is my son?” Leia looked worried and Rey smiled while biting her bottom lip. 

“He was fine this morning when I saw him. He acted like he usually does,” Rey didn't wanna say to much nor to little and Leia smiled. 

“How did he act? I haven't seen him in fare to long, so the more details the better my dear,” Leia said and Rey looks down and thinks back. 

“He was asleep in the room again... and I came with coffee and tea and after placing it he pulled me over and we just sat together, talking for a while... I have been having strange dreams lately... dreams where we are both in, so we talked about that... I got scared as I told him about it and he knew what to say and do to make me calm down again, like he always does. And then he told me hat he would be there when I return from this,” not wanting to go into to many details. 

 

I smile at Rey. She was not telling everything that had happened but the look in her eyes revealed her true heart. 

“You love him, like truly love him don't you,” Leia asked and Rey looked down as she smiled. 

“I... I guess I cant run from that anymore...” Reys smile was beautiful and Leia saw what she knew Ben saw as well. A kind and loving girl. 

“I always worried that he'd never find anyone, but you. Thank you for taking care of him and for everything you have done over the past few days,” she was indeed grateful. The younger woman had done the impossible, she had turned Ben back. 

“Didn't have to do much, I just had to be there and that was it. The rest is him. He was the one who probably spend most of the night gathering evidence... and he was the one who took a beating when I refused to date Snoke... Who still thinks I'm his girl...” Rey sigh and Leia can see how frustrated the girl is, so she reach out and take her hand. 

“Ben is working hard on that case,” She said and Rey nod. 

“I'm just not sure it is safe... But I can't imagine life without him anymore... And we have known each other for nine days... This is getting insane, yet I think both of us love it... Spending time together and not caring about anything that happen outside that room... Just us being us... No pressure from Snoke or anyone else... Sharing and helping each other... I have told him things I haven't told anyone else before and he has open up and shared some of your stories with me,” listening to Rey trying to explain was nice, and it brought some clarity to her. She knew already that the chances of Rey becoming her daughter was high... but she just needed to see them together. 

“If only,” Leia sighed as she said that out loud. 

 

“If only what?” Rey looked curious at Ben's mom. 

“Never mind, I can't,” Leia said and Rey thought for a moment... 

“You wanna meet Ben... Well... now that you have meet me... then I could make plans that involves Ben and I could tell you the address and time and if you then arrive...” Rey smile at Leia who looks at the girl in front of her. 

“That sounds like a plan. But are you okay with it? Do you think he would mind?” Leia ask Rey and the girl just smiles. 

“He would love to meet you, I'm sure of it!” 

 

The two women then talked a bit more, swapped pictures and got coffee and tea before they said goodbye and parted ways as friends.


	19. Hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hugs, talks and the dress.

As Rey walks home she thinks of the informations that Leia have given her. Ben was lucky and he had no idea. Leia had saved up to him, had saved up to make sure he had for tuition if he ever wanted to got to collage and there was so much that it could pay for a used car and probably also his first home. 

Hearing about how hard Leia had worked for her sons future made her smile. She knew she would never have that, but she was happy that that she had good news she could tell Ben when she arrived home again. 

As she arrived home she went for dinner and spotted Ben at his table, he looked less tired and that made her smile on the inside. She remained unmoved as she ate and watched as he left early, sneaking a look at his back as he left. 

Talking a bit with Finn and Rose as she sat there, they knew her mind was somewhere else and she was encouraged to just go. As she left Finn looked at Rose who laughed back at him and they waved at Rey. 

 

He had spotted her as soon as she had entered the room like he always did and he had noticed the look of happiness in her eyes as their eyes had meet for a short second. He had spend most of his day sleeping and trying to look at the evidence gathered, placing the notes in order. That and then he had been thinking of Rey, but that was nothing new. 

He was standing at the window when she arrived and had looked out. Hearing her arrive he didn't turn around as he heard her come closer. Feeling her head resting against his arm, he moved, slowly wrapping his arms around her. 

Hugging her had become second nature and he just felt better when he was able to touch her like this. Holding her hand or hugging her, but even just seeing her or knowing she was within a distance where he could jump in and defend her, safe her was enough. 

“How was your day?” he asked and looked outside at nothing in particular. 

“School was school... But your mom was, well, she was everything a mom should be!” feeling her arms warping around his back he smiled. 

“So you like my mom,” he felt relived, he had worried that they would have disliked each other. He had never thought what he would have done if that had been the case. 

“I low key love her... She has been working so hard to give you the world... She never mentioned a number, but she told me that she has enough money saved up to you to cove school and housing... And then there is the room at her place... That and the fact that she thinks of you ever day,” her smile... Why did her smile have to be so... Hugging her closer he nod as he started to think and realised something. He had made a mistake... Had been completely insensitive, she had never had a mom... Why had he never realised that?

“I'm so sorry...” he whispered, not quite sure what to say, feeling like he had let her down in a way. He felt her eyes on him and as he lowered his eyes to meet hers he saw utter confusion. 

 

“You never had a real mom... And then I send you to meet mine... I'm sorry...” hearing those words it made sense, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Looking up into his eyes she smile and sighed before she rested her forehead against his chest. 

“It is fine... I might never have that my self but I love to know that you have a mom that loves you. It makes me happy to see your relationship have survived all of this. So don't be sorry, and just keep it up. It always make me smile and warms my heart,” blushing as she said those words she was happy that she had already hidden her face so he wouldn't notice. It was true, every word. She was a bit envious, sure but seeing the smile of Ben and Leia was worth it. She had truly been happy when she had meet Leia and had enjoyed spending time with her. 

“Really?” his voice was still coloured by doubt and with flushed cheeks she looked up at him for a few seconds before she needed to hide her face again. 

“Yes! Seeing the love she have for you was completely heart warming. I'm jealous, sure, but that does not change the fact that seeing you happy makes me happy,” she whispered, trying to calm down. 

“I know that nothing could ever replace the love from a parent, just remember you have me...” she felt his chin on the top of her head and heard his whisper as his arms wrapped tighter round her. 

She had never felt as safe as she had done since she had meet him. Safe but exited and calm at the same time, butterflies! She knew she was in love and she knew that having him was more than she could ever need. And she knew he was working way to hard to get out of the gang, making her worry... But when he came out... 

Stopping the thought before it was fully formed to safe her from feeling the heartache that would surly come. She takes a few deep breaths before she slowly let go of him. 

“I know that... You have me as well... But if you wanna see me in a dress tomorrow I need to get the last few seems stitched together and make sure it fits... I might have to find Rose and get her to help pin it the final time,” changing subjects was needed and she knew it. They ware headed down a path that could change everything and she wasn't sure she was ready for that yet. 

She was ready to be with him, but she wasn't ready to face the gang and the dangers they would bring with them. Standing by his side wasn't the scary part, not that part would be as easy a breathing, truly. But having to act as if nothing was going on would be beyond hard. It was already a struggle as is and with the addition of being a couple would make it harder for her to keep her eyes to her self and not just smile at him. Sighing she slowly walked over to get her dress. 

 

Letting her go was hard, but he knew she war right, and he knew if they continued he might do something more and that was out of the question for now. 

But the dress. She was really going through with that? Crap... He was fairly certain that the dress wouldn't help... Well he had asked for it so he would just have to live with that. He would be lucky if she didn't give him a heart attack. Watching her as she started to sew he found the papers again and started to read, trying not to just look at her all the time... it didn't work... so he dropped it and gave himself time to look at her and take her in again. Walking to a different spot to get a better angle... They had known each other for such a short period of time and yet he couldn't find anything bad to say about her... Nothing... She was everything he never knew he had dreamt of. That and more, so much more... 

He watched as she made a few seams and then looked at them before she Ran past him. 

“I'll be back in a few minutes, I need to be pinned into it, to make the final changes and then I'll be done for the day!” as she spoke he waved. 

 

Running downstairs with the dress and the pins to find Rose and Finn in the living room. 

“I need you both! Please, and I don't really have that long!” she spoke fast as she grabbed Rose's hand and Finn grabbed hers. Being dragged to their room Rey turned around and looked at them. 

“So I'm gonna hop in the dress fast and then I need you, Rose, to pin the sides and I need you, Finn, to tell me your honest opinion as a man!” Rey looked at her friends and the nodded before she stepped in and got changed. Hiding behind the door as she opened it. She didn't want anyone other than the them to see her in the dress. Them and Ben... Even if the thought of it scared her a bit. She had never worn anything remotely as revealing as this was. 

She saw Rose loose her shits and Finn dropping his jaw as she closed the door. She wasn't really sure if that was good or bad... 

“So?” she asked and Finn just turned around, looking into the wall. 

“If he doesn't jump you as soon as he sees you... How can you hide that figure?” Finn was having a small meltdown as Rose took the pins and started to make the dress fit even better and more tightly. 

“You are gonna give Ben a heart attack, you do know that right? He is gonna lose it. Finn has almost lost it, and he does not love you! You do know CPR right?” Rose was wondering why Rey was always wearing loose fitted clothes, but maybe she did it to go unnoticed. She usually blended into the crowd, even when she was prettier than most girls. But you had to look at her for an extra second to realize that, to see Reys true beauty. 

With the pins in Rose dragged Finn out and back to the living room as Rey changed back... this was bad... If they had such a strong reaction what would happen when Ben saw her? Worried she went back to him and started to sew the final parts, finishing up all of the seams. Feeling his eyes on her the whole time made her both nervous and exited. Done with the dress she paced it at the side of the sewing machine and slowly turned around. 

“I'm sorry...” she said and could feel his confusion so she looked up at him slowly. 

“I just almost made Finn pass out when he saw me in the dress and it wasn't even fitted right at that time... I'm just saying sorry ahead of time...” looking down again she shook her head. 

“I better go find Finn then and hear how bad it is gonna get. Snoke want me to intimidate him anyway. That and you need some sleep before tomorrow,” she saw him looking at a clock and had to nod. It was getting late... But she didn't wanna leave... She sighed before she got up and walked over to him for a quick hug. 

“Why is this the part of the day I hate the most?” she whispered to her self. 

“Because we have to be apart... I hate it as well...” hearing those words whispered back made her blush and she ran over to the door, but she knew he had seen her pink cheeks as she waved. 

“See you tomorrow...” she said as she left and he just looked after her. She HATED leaving him more than anything. Literally anything... But he had said it out loud... she couldn't ignore it anymore and that meant she needed to be even more careful later. 

With that on her mind she fell asleep and dreamt again... A more heartfelt dream this time around.


	20. The dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole dress thing.

Writing the dream down she decided that she would try and place them in an order when she was in school. Getting slightly nervous already she went through her clothes... The dress was fairly revealing and well, appropriate underwear was needed... Shaking her head she took a shower before running of to school. 

Getting the dreams in order she had to remember them all. Rereading them she slowly started to place them in an order that made sense as she had her break. She was happy that she was being ignored by the other students, but the teachers was starting to worry and one approached her. 

“Hey Rey, don't you wanna get some friends and talk to the other kids?” the male teacher ask as he sits down next to her. 

“I have all the friends I need and I'd rather not associate with the fools here,” she answers, not taking her eyes from the papers she is working with. 

“So you do have some social interactions, but I don't believe that the other students are fools,” he tries to defend the other students. 

“They hate me and well, they care more about dating... I don't have time for that, I need to work hard and get out of this hell hole and into architect school,” she was being brutally honest and the teacher looked slightly offended. 

“It isn't your school in particular, it is just this part of my education... I need to move up soon... Need to beat the odds and find my place in the world... Even if I found one place I belong, I still need this, still need to work harder than anyone else...” 

“Where is it that you belong?” the teacher looked at her curiously and she just shook her head. 

“Next to the fool, next to my fool...” was all she was willing to disclose before she turned all her attention to her notes again. The teacher wanted to know more but let her be for the time being and she did what she usually did for the rest of the day. Pissing of the other students and making the teachers proud. 

As she walked home she didn't know she was walking faster than she usually did until she arrived. Her heart was beating way to fast and she felt butterflies in her stomach as she walked up to face the music. Unlocking the door she saw Ben waiting inside, reading a book. He looked up as soon as she opened the door and she saw his smile. Her heart stopped for a moment as she steadied herself and stepped in. 

“Hey... If you wanna see me in the dress you will have to leave the room for around 5 minutes,” was her voice shaking? Kinda, maybe, what? The reaction she had reserved from the others was enough for her to be scared of his reaction. 

 

He had spend most of his day with Finn, who he had snatched before the other guy walked to school. He had pulled him away in a violent manner to show people that he was in control. Ass soon as they ware out of the way he let go and looked at the shorter man. 

“I'm sorry, but Snoke put me on your ass and well, I need to talk to you about Rose and Rey...” Ben wasn't sure how Finn would react, but when he saw the other guy smile he felt revived. 

“Come at me bro,” Finn laughed and clapped Ben on his back. 

The two men then walked over to a safe place, spending a few hours talking about the girls. Finn admitted he was gonna ask Rose out Saturday and Ben let him talk about how much he loved her before it was Finns turn to listen to the struggles of Ben. Wanting Rey so much, knowing he couldn't get her for now. 

Finn then told him to prepare for the dress, knowing that Ben would probably lose it when he saw her in it. 

“You have no clue until you see for yourself... I had no clue and neither did Rose and we have been hanging out with her for as long as you have... So prepare your self!” the warning was enough to make Ben worry for the rest of the day, till she arrived and he nodded at her request. 

“I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee, do you want anything?” he had noticed her voice was shaking and wanted nothing more than to calm her down, but he was as nervous as she was and he knew he had no way of making her calm so he just got up slowly and walked over. 

“A bottle of water would be nice...” the slight hesitation in her voice and her shyness... crap... he was already done for... he smiled at her before he walked downstairs and grabbed what he needed, spending a few minutes on the coffee cause he wanted her to have enough time. 

 

She had never been this nervous in her whole life and she had to take a few deep breaths before she moved over and got the dress. Getting out of her shirt and pants combo was easy and as the fabric dropped to the floor she got nervous. She had placed the sipper in the side seem so she could open and close the dress herself and as she stepped into it and pulled it up she was reminded of how tight and short it was. Mid thigh to be exact... This was a bad idea, but their was no turning back now. 

Closing the zipper she adjusted a few things and made sure it was sitting like it should before she moved her hand to her hair. Unleashing her half up bun, shaking it out before she took out those shoes she had hidden in her bag... Her only pair of high heels; a simple set of black sandals with thin straps. Putting them on she slowly walked over to the window where he had been the day before. She waited and looked down as she did. The setting sun shining through the window. 

 

As he unlocked the door he opened it slowly. The room was filled with golden light from the setting sun and there, a silhouette of a woman in the window. 

Finn had been right, he was not prepared. She was so much more than he could have imagined and he had hugged her, had known, or so he thought. She was slim, lean, her chest small and delicate and so was her butt, strong legs supported her strong body, yet she looked fragile at the same time. She stood perfectly still and so did he till he snapped out of it and closed the door behind him, still keeping the distance. 

Placing the cup and the water at the table near the door, not looking away from her for even one second. He then slowly walk closer, one step at the time, struggling not to run over to her. Her face slowly turned to look at him and he lost his breath again, seeing her face framed by her dark hair and her neck... 

This was to much and he wanted nothing more than to get close enough that he could feel her but he needed the time to adjust, so he forced himself to walk slowly. His mind was working overtime and then an idea formed... He was wearing a sweater and a t-shirt underneath... if it became to much he would just take it of and pull it over her head! Simple as that. And it would probably reach her knees, so she should be covered as well! 

Finally reaching her he simply stopped next to her, facing the window, turning his head and looking at her. Was this real or a dream... because there was no way he could be this lucky... he had never been lucky, not once in his entire life and now here he was, standing next to a goddess bathed in the soft light of the setting sun. He couldn't help but smile as he noticed her height and looked down to her feet. Heels? Well, it went with the look. The black dress showed everything but he was able to hold back for a while, at least for now. 

 

As he had come closer she had felt the hairs of her neck stand. He looked like a wolf stalking its prey and she was fairly certain that she wouldn't mind if he attacked. As he came closer she tensed up but when he just stood next to her and looked at her. For some reason she didn't blush, feeling strong... Maybe this was the reason women wore this kind of dress and heels? 

The distance between them was loaded with energy and as she looked up she couldn't help but close the distance. Her feet moved by them self as she stepped that one step closer to him. Standing closer to him she looked down and closed her eyes as she rested her head against his arm, feeling the arm move around her and pulling her even closer to his side. 

“Sooo... how do I look?” did she really ask that? What was she even doing... she looked down 

“I have no words...” she felt his arm tighten around her and had to look up at him. His eyes... she got lost in his eyes for a second or two. 

“That could be good or bad,” she tried to joke around but his eyes got her again and she got lost in his deep eyes as he spoke again. 

“You could never look bad, even if you tried,” he was serious and she made her final attempt at lightening the mood. 

“Challenge accepted...” as she spoke she felt him turn around, so he was facing her. He raised his free hand to her cheek and slowly cupped it as she felt her face being turned further up and his eyes on her lips. Then his eyes snapped back to hers and he leaned down closing the distance between them. 

Her heart was beating so fast she was sure she would get a heart attack. She could feel it in her ears as her heart was trying to jump out of her chest. 

His lips was now so close she could feel his breath, taste it, crap...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers will ever be found. But I have the first part of the next chapter ready!


	21. The kiss?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kiss? and another dream.

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING? As he felt her breath on his lips he avoided them but only just and by using all the will power he had... He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, and let his lips rest there till he had regained control. 

This had been to close of a call. He needed to step back to have a moment to regain full control, but that might hurt Rey. He took a deep breath in before he pulled back enough to get his sweater of. 

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled as he looked at her. He knew how close they had just been and God did he wish he could just kiss her right now, but he had to resist it. Gently tugging the sweater over her head he could hear her muffled laugh. 

“And don't ever show this dress to anyone else. They will jump you and that is the truth,” it was now his turn to try and lighten the mood and as her head popped out of the opening. Her hair was a mess and he let his hands run through it, fixing it for her. Looking at her face he couldn't help but smile. 

“Question: you pulled away because of the whole Snoke and gang thing, right... Not because...” he could tell how unsure she was as she looked down for a second. 

 

She knew it was probably just to protect her but she wanted to know if he loved her and she got the answer when he stepped closer again and wrapped his arms around her again. She relaxed a bit as she tried to find the sleeves, so she could hug him back. With the added hight it was easier for her to place her head at the crock of his neck and just let his arms and love warm her. 

“Trust me, I wanted to just... but I need to get rid of those two before I can even do that... But the first thing I'm gonna do when Snoke is locked up is to run to you, and then I'd like to continue what we did a few moments ago,” His deep whisper send shivers down her spine and she simply nodded as an answer, since she had no way of answering, without saying something that she could never take back again. 

Standing with him for a minute or two more she remember her latest dream and that makes her pull away so she can look up at him. 

“I had another dream...” she know that is all she has to say. Ben release her from the hug, but wraps an arm around her and lead her over to get the coffee, water and her bag before they walk over to the couch. He place the things down before he gets a blanket and puts it around her as she takes her shoes of and pulls her legs up under herself. She gets her notes and hands them to him, watching him as he starts to read out loud. 

“I'm in a cold hut, rain is heard and it is dark, night... a small fire lights the room but all I can see is you... I feel like I'm being let down by someone or something, so I turn to you and tell you of my worries and fears. Seeing your face as clearly as if we ware in the same room. Your face tells me all I need to know. You know the feelings I'm speaking of and you fell my pain. You who is supposed to be the bad guy is the first one to listen... and the first one to reach out. 'You're not alone,' the words keep replaying in my mind as does the words I return. Words of compassion to a man I'm supposed to hate, yet you are the only friend I have... 'Neither are you,' my voice is quirt and as you look at me I let my hand stretch out to you. My hand is a bit unsteady as I look at you, waiting to see if you return the gesture. As I see your hand reach out to mine our eyes lock before our fingertips touch. Pure electricity as we touch. I see us together in a short vision and just like that the dream end. Two people linked like that...” 

 

He looked up from her notes and see her smile... How was he supposed to react to this dream when it mirrored parts of their life so much... 

“This time I'm 100% on the guys side. He might be a bad man, but he seem to care, seem to like the girl. Seem to wanna help her end her loneliness...” he smile as he says that and slowly take her hands in his. 

“The vision in the dream was complete bliss. Love and light... Life... I have no other words to describe it,” she looked at their hands as she spoke. 

“So... do you think they will end up together in the end?” watching her reaction he saw a small smile started to form. 

“I hope so... she seem lonely and he seem in need of someone who can love him,” he nodded, thinking how true those words ware for the characters of her dream and them as well. Rey was lonely and so was he. This and their need for love was evident in their behaviour since they had meet. 

They had both reached out and grabbed a hold of each other. Had created a bond while talking and getting to know each other again. And as they sat together like this he let his mind drift. Let himself dream. 

Dream of a life, years from now. A house, no a home. A home where they could be safe, where he could keep her safe. A time and place where he would make sure she was never lonely again. 

She pulled one hand from his and grabbed a few pieces of paper and handed them to him. He knew what it was the second he saw it. It was the floor plans for her dream house, but this looked like the real deal that workers would use when the made houses. 

 

Giving him the plans was a risk, she had made a few changes and had really worked hard on making this version so close to a real floor plan as possible. Marking out where the larger pieces of furniture would be placed and clearly naming a room 'Nursery' was always a risk, yet she didn't worry as much as she though she would. 

Ben moved closer to her and then placed the plans between then as he slowly went over every measurement and every detail with her. 

He was really interested in it, which was good since some of the small changes had been to accommodate him. She had made the home slightly larger to make sure he would fit and not feel so cramped. 

After going over every detail, he seem to remember something. 

“Did you know that Finn is gonna take out Rose Saturday?” he asked and she slowly shook her head. She had no idea, but she was happy for them... 

“I kinda wish...” she started and he must have known what she was thinking because after a few seconds he broke the silence. 

“Wanna go to a second hand store Friday? And then watch the new trilogy in the Star wars saga?” she looked at him for a few seconds before she opened her mouth and closed it. Then she tilted her head a bit before she just looked at him. 

“I would love to... But do you think it is a wise idea?” 

He seemed confident when he nodded and she just shook her head with a small smile on her lip. 

“Trust me, we are gonna be fine. No one from the gang ever goes to that part of town,” 

“If you say so then I'll love to... Just don't take any unnecessary risk for my sake...” she looked at him as he reached out and placed a strand of hair behind her ear. He send her a smile and she knew he would be fine. 

He then looked at the time and at her. 

“I'll go get some food up here, since it is dinner time,” getting up he left the room and she got up as well.


	22. The date part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date is kicking of!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are shorter now than when I started out, but I have been busy with RP and life. A further heads up is that I'll be going on vacation in 2 short weeks so I'll try and write a few chapters ahead of time, but if I miss a week that is why. 
> 
> Sora out!

The rest of the night and the next day was the most quirt days in their relationship. She was busy studying for her test and he was cleaning the room for their date in the day hours and had to work that evening. 

Left alone Rey called Leia and made plans for them to meet up Friday. Keeping the secret from Ben was easy since she knew that he would become beyond happy when he saw his mother. 

The meet briefly and had a long hug as she was leaving and he was arriving. He asked when her classes was over and she answered. She asked if he was okay and she knew he was lying when he said he was fine. 

Leaving each others arms was hard, but they knew it needed to happen and so they let go. 

 

Friday had finally arrived and she was so exited. Her entire school day had been so dull. Her test had been so easy... she was done an hour before everyone else, but had to stay, cause the idiots needed more time. She was so over this part of her life... 

As she walked out she noticed some of her classmates had stopped and was pointing at someone, so she looked at who they ware pointing to. Ben... He was waiting at the gate for her, looking like a God of dead, but the hot guy, you wouldn't mind killing you. 

“I'm gonna go get him to come home with me,” the popular girl said and Rey laughed, making the fool turn around. 

“What? You don't think I can get him? Watch and learn you freak!” the blond bombshell walked straight up to Ben while Rey slowly followed behind her. He spotted her and walked straight past the popular kid and offered his arm to Rey, who took it, not even needing to look behind her to know what kind of expression everyone had on their faces. 

“I know a safe shortcut,” she said and he followed her for once. 

She had looked around the store the day before to make sure they ware as careful as they could be. As they walk in silence she place her head on his shoulder and he need to hold back so he does not do anything stupid. 

Arriving she looked at him. 

“Today I wanna do something for you. Lets get three sets of pants that is at least your size, or to big and then watch me turn them into two nice pair of pants. How doest that sound?” she had wanted to help him out and had noticed he always wore the same black pants. Today was different, he had a nicer set of pants on. So she had thought of making him some new pants for a while and even had a few ideas for details to add to the pants, that would enhance his pants game. 

“Sure, sounds fine with me. As long as you think it is fun to do then I'll be happy to have costume made pants,” she saw his smile and together they walked over to the men's pants section. She spotted someone on the way over there and nodded without him noticing. 

As they arrived they started to look. She found some awful mustard coloured pants she held out and he laughed as she watched the old woman slowly approach him from behind. 

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and almost threw the person over his shoulder. Looking at Rey he calmed down and just turned around. 

In front of him was a woman, a short, grey haired lady. Her hair was gathered in a bun and she was wearing a muted pant suit and a huge purple ring on her finger. Her gentle smile had not changed, not at all. He looked her into her eyes and was lost in them for a few seconds, before he reached out and wrapped his arms around the woman, lifting her of her feet. 

“Mom,” was the only word he could get over his lips. He had missed her so much and there she was. He was automatically turned into a kid again. A kid who needed her more than anything and as he felt her laugh in his arms he slowly put her down again. 

“Sorry, I have just missed,” he didn't let go of her, he just held her close. 

He felt her hand pet his hair and could almost see her smile as he knew her face was resting on his shoulder. 

“It is fine Ben, I have missed you as well. I love you my boy, so let me get a good look at you,” he heard her words and reluctantly let her go and took a step back. He felt something touch his hand and grabbed it, pulling Rey to his side. He wasn't gonna be evaluated by his mother alone and he needed the support of Rey now more than ever. 

He noticed his mother smile as she looked at them both and then he realized how this had happened. 

“You two planed this...” he was happy, he had never expected that the two only women in his life would be this sneaky and could cheat the system. 

“It was Reys idea. She is quite brilliant and I'm happy you have such a kind person in your life,” Leia reached out to both of them as she spoke. Both took her hands and as they just stood there he noticed the happy tears in her eyes. 

“I'm happy too. Rey always does more than she should and it means more than she knows,” he said, nearly tearing up as well. He send a quick look down at Rey who was crying and he then pulled both women closer, into a hug. 

“Hey, this is not the time to cry,” he whispered as he leaned back his head to keep the tears from falling. 

 

Rey knew he was about to cry as well and patted his back as she just leaned into his arm and his warmth. Embracing both him and Leia she felt so full of love that she for once thought she could die happy. 

She had never been this emotionally involved with anyone before and she was more happy than ever that she had found Ben again. Without him she would have felt as alone as ever. Even her relationship with Rose wouldn't have been the same. They had bonded over him and their whole relationship. And now they ware bonding over both the Reylo and Finnrose relationships, talking boys nearly every night. 

So it was all Ben's fault or more specific Kylo's fault, because that was who she had meet on that first day.


	23. The date part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! But my chapters might be kinda short cause I have lost a bit of inspiration, but don't worry, I'll be giving you one chapter pr week till we are done! Cause I have planned this story out and I know what I have to write next, so yes! I won't just abandon this! Promise!

He looked at her and saw how happy she was and tried to see it from her point of view. He could understand most of what she was going through and knew that this might well be the closest she had ever been to having a real family.

Was he a dick for liking that fact? For liking the fact that he, if he could pull off his crazy stunt with the gang, was the first and last man she would ever be this close to? That she would be his and his alone? That was pretty normal, right? Wanting to be the only man in the woman of your dreams life... Must be.

After a few moments he slowly pulled away and then the real talk started. He got to talk to his mom while Rey ran around and got a few more things she needed. Leia then paid for them and before they left the place she hugged both of them again.

“Take good care of her... she is more fragile than you know, so guard her heart and be kind,” Leia whispered to him and he nodded. He already knew this but he also knew he would do everything he could to keep her both safe and happy. That was what he wanted more than anything. To make sure Rey never lost her smile. 

They then left the place and split up as they got closer to the home. He was getting nervous for this, but he knew he had everything they needed. 

 

She was super exited and as she walked in and locked the door behind her she saw that he had pulled out all the stops. He had gotten snacks, drinks and plenty of blankets. The movies was on the table, next to his laptop. She walked over and sat down on the couch after she had placed the bag of clothes she had gotten. She crossed her legs after she had removed her shoes and waited for him to join her. 

He did just that and then a light conversation about star wars started. How both love all of the movies, theories, the force, light vs dark side and the grey side, everything was on the table. One of the theories the came across was the Sith Jar Jar one and Rey was pro, Ben was against. 

Dinnertime arrived and they walked down, eating like they normally did and then disappeared like always. 

In the room again she watched as he put on the first of the prequels. He then leaned back and she moved over to his side, resting her head on his shoulder. She noticed that he covered her with a blanket before he moved his arm down, so it laid against her back and his hand was on her waist. She blushed a bit but moved closer to him, loving how warm and safe she felt. 

 

After the first movie he put on the next one. They had talked a bit while watching, but it wasn't a lot. After that movie it had gotten late but she was still willing to watch the last one and so he put it on, kinda knowing she might fall asleep while it was running. 

And he was right! Halfway through the third movie she fell asleep. He gently placed her head down before he stopped the movie and looked at her...

What the hell do you do with the girl of your dreams when she just falls asleep on you? He started to clean as he thought of his options:   
He could let her sleep and just stay awake and watch her... 

No to creepy!

He could leaver her there and go back to his room...

But then he would have to deal with Hux and Snoke... 

He could carry her to her room...

People would notice and then both of them would be dead...

Or he could return to her side and just sleep next to her... he could do that, right?

He thought about it for a few more minutes as he looked at her and he then sat down and got his shoes of, grabbing another blanket and then he laid down next to her and took a deep breath as he placed his arm around her and pulled her over so her cheek was resting on his shoulder like it had done earlier. He then felt her arm reach over him and wrap around his torso.

He couldn't help but smile as he gently pressed his lips against her forehead and that was how he was laying as he fell asleep.


	24. The date part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically the morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter again... But we are getting close to the end and I kinda wanna make it live forever...

She slowly wake up the next morning. She didn't open her eyes, trying to keep her dream in her mind for as long as possible. She had dreamed that she had been on a date with Ben and they had been having so much fun. She had smiled and laughed and then they had watched movies together... and then she had fallen asleep... 

Wait, hold on, had this even been a dream? Or had it all happened?

She noticed a strong pair of arms around her and a steady breath on her forehead... And then she too a deep breath and it was him, she knew this warm scent. She let her arm grab a tighter hold as she felt him move under her hand. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. He was awake, making her blush slightly as she looked down. She snuggled up even closer to him, moving her head on to his chest. Hearing his heartbeat increase made her fell better about the fact that her heart was about to pop out of her chest. 

 

He let his fingers run through her hair as he enjoyed this. Relaxing with Rey on his chest. She was safe and right here. He would never have believed anyone if they had told him about this two weeks ago. 

Two weeks was all it took to make their life turn around. She was the nerd, the good student, the careful girl with a goal and he was the bad influence with no dream what so ever. She had inspired him, had made him wanna change back to the person he was before he meet Snoke, turn back and yet move forward, become a better version of the kid he once was, become an adult version. 

He had found his dream, homebuilding, wooden constructions and becoming her husband. He needed her in his life and would love nothing more than to make her his wife. 

So he had his plan and now he just needed another week or so to gather the last bits of evidence against them and then he had enough to get both Snoke and Hux locked up for years. 

He looked down at her and smiled. Soon...

And that was when both heard their stomachs growl and he couldn't help but laugh. He heard her laughter and smiled as he slowly got them both up. 

“I have to work today... But I'll be back after lunch... I wish I could just stay here...” he whisper to her as he holds her close.

“It is gonna be fine... Just be careful...” She looked him straight into his eyes as she said that and he almost kissed her again... She was literally making him loose his mind, so he kissed her cheek for the second time before he helped her up. 

“Go, I'll come later,” he said and he watched as she slowly moved to the door and then turn to smile at him before she left the room. 

He slowly started to clean up and get things in order before he slowly walked down. He didn't notice that Snoke was acting a bit different because he was distracted by Rey.


End file.
